Sometimes the things that come out of some professors’ mouths are so unbelievable that you don’t know whether they were uttered by the learned scholar standing before you or a high student with no idea what’s going on. So let’s play who said it and let’s see how well you do in telling apart the words professors from students. We put an answer key at the bottom so you can see how well you did.
1.) “Excuse me, do you know where Ewing is?”
A.) A professor who’s been working here for 13 years.
B.) A lost freshman taking their first math class.
2.) “Don’t bother buying a textbook for this class. Save that money and spend it on something useful, like the Adderall that will help you pass this class.”
A.) A senior giving advice to an underclassman.
B.) A history professor who knows his tests are hard but won’t do anything about it.
3.) “Sorry I’m late, the line at the Smith Starbucks was really long.”
A.) Physics 207 professor who relies on coffee to maintain some level of normalcy.
B.) Sorority girl 15 minutes late to class with a Starbucks latté in each hands.
4.) “Sorry I’m late, I just didn’t want to be here.”
A.) That one student who only shows up because attendance counts.
B.) The English professor who knows people are just taking their class for a requirement, and class participation is lower than the attendance.
5.) “What are you guys doing this weekend? Going to any cool frat parties?”
A.) Professor trying to kill time before inevitably ending class early.
B.) Socially awkward sophomore trying to relate to his peers.
6) “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”
A.) Opening monologue of the Bio 107 professor during the cell unit.
B.) Any student who has been through the American educational system.
Answer Key: 1.) A 2.)A 3.) B 4.) B 5.) A 6.) B
5 and Above: Learned scholar! You’re as smart as a UD professor.
4 and Below: Maybe you’re a professor, but after a few years of tenure wearing away on your mind.