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Special Report: Grotto’s Line Has Low Self-Esteem About its Length

Recent reports show that the Grottos Line has developed self-esteem issues as a result of people seeing how long it is, staring in “disgust” and “disbelief,” and then walking away each weekend.

Having had enough, the line’s frustrations finally resulted in an angry post on its Facebook page, which says: “if ur not gna appreciate me at my wORST, u ungrateful hoes sure as hell don’t deserve me at my BEst (yes, that means U!!!).”

According to the line’s mother, once it gets home after every shift, it immediately goes after a Ben & Jerry’s pint, scarfs it down in the corner while “ugly sobbing,” and then sits in the shower for at least an hour to cleanse itself of “both the disgust of others and its own self-disgust.” The Grottos Line further clarified the “disgust of others” that its mother mentioned.

“I don’t think people know that I can openly see them sneaking a pic of me with the caption, ‘this dumb mf line.’ Like, I’ll have you know I have a ‘Line Management and Hospitality’ degree from Del Tech! And it’s not my fault! I’ve tried adding signs that say ‘Come back later if Grottos is full’…I’ve tried adding crowd control belts outside in the lobby so that the line doesn’t get too crazy…but people still call me annoying! Why can’t you wasted idiots just listen!!!!”

Although the Grottos Line posted the aforementioned Facebook status just last weekend, the message has already gained immense viral support with over 26 likes. In the comments section, bar lines – both local and from all over Delaware – have gathered to console Grottos, reassuring it that its anger is valid, and that those “UD blue-idiots don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“As a line who’s had its fair share of being vomited on, I know exactly how you feel,” commented an empathetic Rooney’s Line. “Obviously, rude comments and vomit aren’t quite the same thing, but they sure as hell make us feel equally as bad. Like, girl, you ain’t even in the bar yet, have some respect!”

Grottos’ fellow bar lines have been immensely supportive following this event, but there is a small group of human bar goers “Angry reacting” at the line’s Facebook status.

“Who does Grottos Line think it is?” asked infuriated part-time UD student, Jenna Malone. “I bust my balls all week, taking one class a day, and Grottos has the audacity to make me wait 30 minutes before I can get wasted and then booty call my ex? That’s my only source of stress relief! Where does the oppression end?”

Other, more neutral commenters just mentioned that the Grottos Line can’t expect much support, as Delaware is “barely even a state, nobody’s gonna notice your problems.” Regardless of stance, it is evident that this issue over the self-esteem of the line at Grottos has caused quite a bit of controversy. It is unlikely that this Facebook feud will die down anytime soon.


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