Halloween is quickly approaching, so it’s important to keep a special map of campus handy that’ll tell you whether or not you’ll encounter anything sketchy while walking home down the Pomeroy Trail at 3 a.m. (you will). Here are some spooky places to avoid (for all the scaredy-cat idiots out there) or check out (thrill seeking is so overrated, just go get a PSL from the Smith Starbucks and accept that you’re boring) this October.
5.) The Pomeroy Trail, A.K.A, Clown Central:
If you haven’t seen IT yet, there’s no need. Just take a stroll down the Pomeroy trail late at night, and you’re bound to run in to some dude who didn’t get the memo that scaring people by wandering around in a clown costume was so last year. If you don’t see a clown, you’ll get mugged by a townie at the least.
4.) Career Services:
If you’re really looking for a fright this Halloween, stop by the career services office and try to confront your future. If you’re really feeling daring, make an appointment to have one of the grad students tell you face-to-face that your resume is garbage. Your terrified screams of horror will be echoing down Academy in no time.
3.) The Green during Homecoming Weekend:
If going to career services wasn’t enough to scare the effin’ daylights out of you, head on over to the Green when all the Alumni are back to celebrate homecoming. Stare your sad reality in the face; drink in all the sad post-grads returning home after experiencing the disappointments of real life, and try not to get stuck talking to one. It’ll be like a future, nostalgic you, and even we know that’s too spooky for any Blue Hen to handle.
2.) The Planned Parenthood on Haines:
Pregnancy scares are boring; but you know what isn’t? Walking in to your local Planned Parenthood to find University President Dennis Assanis standing calmly inside the entryway, offering words of encouragement to every visitor. He’s such an advocate for diversity and equality, you can bet on finding his soulless, empty eyes staring out at you from behind the Highlights magazine he’s been perusing for the past 45 minutes.
1.) The Kirkbride stairs at Night:
Ever wanna feel like someone is watching you at all times? Like you could be bound, gagged, and dragged away by Kirkbride Jesus at any moment and held hostage inside of a dingy, poorly lit lecture hall? The Kirkbride stairs at night are the perfect place for you. Experience all the artificial thrills of paranoia in this creepy part of campus.
Now that parent’s weekend is over and all the moms and dads have gone back to New Jersey, students have to resort back to scaring themselves for the rest of the month for Halloween thrills: visit these spots if you dare.