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Top 10 Douchiest Buildings on UD’s Campus

 

 

During your time at UD, you inevitably develop a relationship with the buildings you visit everyday. You know some are good, you know some are really bad, and you know some are just…douchebags. The Black Sheep has compiled a list of buildings to try to steer clear from, because they’re just not worth your time.

 

10.) Spencer Lab:
We get it! You’re a Hengineer! We have all seen the banner, “Mechanical Engineering Since Forever.” There are bigger things than breaking the curve man, get over it.

 

9.) Pencader:
When you run into him, you know in your stomach that nothing good is about to happen. You may hear that some chicks hit this guy up like three times a day. Go ahead try him once if you want, but this is not a mistake you want to make again.

 

8.) Morris Library:
This guy’s a control freak. Before you even opened your mouth he told you that he has expectations about your behavior. In some ways it’s good to say what you want in a relationship, but this guy doesn’t leave anything to chance. Only go here if you’re really desperate, there are better buildings out there.

 

7.) Gore:
He’s the nice building you bring home to mom, but he just doesn’t do it for you. He has a nice appearance always offers coffee from the Pod, but after a couple of weeks you realize he’s basically hollow inside.

 

6.) Willard:
Honestly, fuck this guy. He likes to make everyone feel inferior as they wheeze up his unnecessarily steep stairs. Buildings like this just try to make you feel bad. But if you ever actually look at him, he’s pretty ugly anyway.

 

5.) Townsend:
This guy is always so distant. Any time you need him for office hours or literally anything else, he’s always way too far away to be helpful. It might be fun to go to him once in a while and get ice cream or whatever, but he would never make a good long term thing.

 

4.) Trabant:
He looks inviting with all the food he offers and the brightly lit signs. He gives every indication that he wants you to come be with him. But then you get there and see it was all a facade. He doesn’t really want you there. If he did he’d at least offer you a friggin’ place to sit.

 

3.) Kirkbride:
He comes off as this really complex guy with all of these barriers he uses to try to shut everybody out. There’s outdoor hallways, uncovered stairs, creepy gross bathrooms, and like five doors before you can actually even get into one lecture hall. Yet you still go to him semester after semester, until you realize he’s just not worth it.

 

2.) Smith:
Total prick. Girls literally line up inside him. But even with all of that showy landscaping and grand staircases, you realize he’s not that great. You’ve never actually had a meaningful experience in any of his rooms. And you know that like, all of your friends have already been with him.

 

1.) Dickinson Residence Hall:
The guy you never ever want to see again. He was toxic.

 

We hope this guide helps you navigate the minefield of buildings out there. They all might seem fine on the tour; you might even get excited to have a class with one of them. But don’t let nice appearances fool you; they are just like the rest of Newark: shitty.

 

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