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Top 5 Alternative UD Mascots that Would Be Better Than YouDee


YouDee is our gender-ambiguous, avian mascot who effectively serves as the face of the University of Delaware. However, a Blue Hen is a pretty obscure animal in the world of college mascots, and the values and personality that YouDee embodies aren’t very clear other than the fact that he/she/they/it is “Fightin’.” The Black Sheep think it’s time the hen got the boot, so we crafted 5 alternative mascots that we feel better capture what being a student at UD is truly all about.


5.) Stan the Study Squirrel:




Check out Stan; he’s a jolly blue and gold squirrel holding that beloved pill containing 20 milligrams of pure concentration. Stan is very dedicated to his studies, but sometimes he has trouble focusing with all of the lady-squirrels on the Green distracting him. He takes a handy dandy supplement called UDderall to help with his concentration, but sometimes it makes him a little spastic and crazy. It also gives him a weird penchant towards burying himself in trashcans.


4.) Nelly the Nose:





Nelly is a sensitive little sensory organ. However, every morning, she becomes the victim of a noxious, fecal-smelling scent that appears to originate from nowhere. No matter what she does or where she goes, this smell persists for what seems like an eternity. Nelly’s a veteran of UD, so when other sensory organs on campus complain about the smell, she usually ignores them since she’s more used to inhaling the mysterious stench than not.


3.) Andréa Plainbagel:





Here’s Andréa Plainbagel! She’s quite the morning person who always loves to start the day off ready for a good time. Life is a party for Andréa. She’s typically found wrapped a wine bottle that she probably wouldn’t want to tell her plain bagel parents at NDB about. Andréa’s favorite place to be on campus is actually anywhere that isn’t on campus; it’s usually in some other bagel’s backyard.


2.) Champ the Longchamp:





Champ is quite the hit with the females on campus. Many of the Lady Hens at UD will spend dozens or hundreds of dollars just to be seen with him on their shoulder during their daily routine! Although he tends to sport the same drab color scheme wherever he goes, his subtleness, lack of any distinguishing features and average storage capacity make him a ubiquitous part of UD’s campus.




1.) Mackenzie Mayonnaise:





Mackenzie is just your average, everyday, typical UD student. She’s not particularly exciting, nor does she do a whole lot to differentiate herself from other condiment jars on campus. Ultimately she’s proud of her East Coast alma mater, even if her answers as to why are quoted directly from an adequately written student editorial on The Odyssey Online. Just a humble girl from suburban New Jersey, Mackenzie enjoys flash mobs on the Green, waiting in line for hours at the Smith Starbucks, and avoiding Caesar Rodney Dining Hall when they use any spices that are not pumpkin-based. She tried adopting a gluten-free lifestyle for a while, but gave up when she kept finding herself at bread-heavy Jimmy John’s at 1:30am every weekend. She also tried going vegan before realizing she is literally mayonnaise.


Everyone knows YouDee is a fat blue turd bird, so we should seriously consider replacing our outdated face of the University of Delaware with one of these better alternatives. We were hoping to create a mascot version of an ass-anus named Dennis, but our lawyers told us that some of the incoming freshmen each year are under 18, so we weren’t allowed to publish it.






If binge drinking is a major problem, then why does cheap beer come in packs of 30?:

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