Our school is great for many reasons: a picturesque campus, 6 Mexican restaurants within 100 feet of each other, and an Uber driver who supplies alcohol to minors. But by this time in the semester, we can all agree that it is nice to have a few days off to celebrate America’s arrogant ethnocentrism built on Native American genocide. Your parents will totally get sick of you, but here’s a few things you won’t miss over Thanksgiving break.
6.) Farting in the Library:
We’ve all been there…Literally so awkward. Especially if you’re in the eerily-reticent Reading Room. Luckily, you’ll be far, far away from Club Morris and can fart in the peace of your childhood home.
5.) THE CIRCULATION DESK WILL BE CLOSING IN 30 MINUTES:
IF YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT BOOKS, PLEASE BRING THEM DOWN TO THE CIRCULATION DESK ON THE FIRST FLOOR NEAR THE LIBRARY ENTRANCE. THE BUILDING WILL REMAIN OPEN AS A STUDY AREA UNTIL 2 A.M., BUT NO SERVICES WILL BE AVAILABLE AFTER 12 MIDNIGHT. THANK YOU.
4.) Sharp Lab:
Sharp Lab is the most boring building on campus. Even if you didn’t have a class there this semester, you will sleep better at night knowing that the rest of the student body no longer has to live with the option of paying attention to MATH113 or staring at the empty brick walls until their brains explode for 50 minutes a day.
3.) Getting Delayed by a Train:
When again in your life will you ever have to say “sorry I’m late, I was waiting for 25 minutes while the train went by because the train tracks are strategically placed on the only route I can take to get here?” At least for this week the only decision you have to make is to get fourth helpings of Thanksgiving dinner, not whether or not you want to risk your life jumping over a train to make it to your exam on time.
2.) Living in Constant Fear of New Traffic Lights:
Now that there’s 3 traffic lights on Main Street less than 300 feet away from each other, who knows where they’re going to put one next. But at home, the UDPD and their love of traffic light overproduction will be far, far away. At least for a week.
1.) Waiting in Line at Starbucks:
Not only will you not even have an 11:15 a.m. in Smith, but you won’t have to get there 3 hours early in order to get a coffee, either.
And then, after dealing with your family for 5 days, you’ll be ecstatic to come back to UD and experience everything you hate about it all over again. At least there will be only two weeks standing between you and home again this time, which you can use to think of even more things that you hate and won’t miss about this school. Like that smell. You know what we’re talking about.
If you woke up this morning surrounded by ravaged Lunchable boxes, this is for you: