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UD Basketball Players Ranked on the Attractiveness of Their Names

 

While the rest of the UD student body is busy ignoring homecoming and going to Bagels and Andre instead, The Black Sheep isn’t thinking about football either.  We’re thinking about basketball- and not because our team is good. Whether or not you find these basketball players physically attractive, we think you’ll want to bang them based on the sexiness of their names.

 

6.) Eric Carter:

 

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We first saw this and immediately thought of Aaron Carter. While he’s not the teen pop sensation you dreamed about dating in 3rd grade, he’ll suffice.

 

5.) Skye Johnson:

 

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Not only is Skye the name of a D1 basketball player in a mediocre state, its also the name of an island in northwest Scotland known for its rugged landscapes, picturesque fishing villages and medieval castles. The largest island in the Inner Hebrides archipelago, it has an indented coastline of peninsulas and narrow lochs, radiating out from a mountainous interior. Now what is sexier than that?

 

4.) Derrick Woods:

 

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There’s something totally hot about the way this guy spells Derrick. Instead of the plain old “Derek,” which is the name of a social awkward Ricky Gervais character, “Derrick” gives off an element of mystery. Kind of like the mystery of the empty UD student section at basketball games…

 

3.) Anthony Mosely:

 

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Ugh, we put this on the list before we realized that it was Anthony Mosely, not Moseby. So unfortunately, this isn’t the manager of the Tipton from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. We’re sorry.

 

2.) Ryan Daly:

 

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More like Ryan Bae-ly. With a name this average, how can it not remind you of how average the UD basketball team is?

 

1.) Cazmon Hayes:

 

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We’re not even sure how to pronounce this, but neither will you, in bed. That’s what makes it so attractive, right?

 

 

There you have it. These guys can play basketball better than you but probably not too much better than players at other schools, and have great names. What else could you ask for in a prospective male significant other?

 

 

 

 

If binge drinking is a major problem, then why does cheap beer come in packs of 30?:

 
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