Now that most of us are in our 20’s we’re wishing we could go back to our childhoods and crawl back in to our pillow forts, and forget ever having to deal with rent, dining hall food, and weird Tinder boys again. In order to bring back the nostalgia of that childhood devoid of money, constant diarrhea, and 2 a.m. “you up?” messages, The Black Sheep has decided to rename some of UD’s most iconic buildings from the perspective of a 10-year-old.
Trabant: Building with the Big Words
To us, Trabant is the Mecca of chill spots between classes. It has everything from Chick-Fil-A to a public lounge where you can fall asleep and drool in front of strangers. But most importantly, it’s the perfect place to people watch. 10-year-olds, however, don’t give a shit about any of this and would probably fixate on the giant useless words above the food court.
Ceasar Rodney Dining Hall: The Maze
If 18 to 20 year old kids still easily lose themselves inside this labyrinth of gross attempts at gluten-free meals and poorly thought out vegan delights, a 10-year-old might spend days just trying to figure out where the gosh darn bathroom is.
The Christiana Towers: The Skyscrapers
The towers are the most uncharacteristically tall buildings on campus, but fear not! Their humorously sized kitchens and bathrooms are so snug that they prevent contents from shifting while the structures sway in the wind. And they’re perfect for residents the size of a small child. Or a gerbil.
Gore Hall: Fancy Compass Headquarters
Gore has the nicest interior of any other building on campus, and therefore would most likely be dubbed as such by a kid. The compass in the middle of the floor is a beautiful piece of art despite that it’s ineffective when it comes to directing students; as most still have to walk fourteen circles to locate the correct classroom.
Club Morris: Silent Space Ship
If anyone would enjoy the aesthetic of those weird, out of place, new-agey space chairs in the entryway of Morris Library, it would have to be a 10-year-old kid. Club Morris is a great place to combine both imaginative play with the quiet game, for readers who have to babysit as a side job in order to afford tuition that goes in to purchasing stupid ugly chairs.
The Little Bob: X-Ray Gym
You can see right through it! There are people in there running and lifting weights and stretching, and you can see it all! Which means they’ll definitely see you when you pull down your pants and moon the whole place before the UDPD can catch you.
Most of us didn’t know where we wanted to go to college when we were 10, but now that we’re here, a lot of us might agree that going back to the 5th grade and dealing with stink bombs and gym class doesn’t sound so bad. At least some of us can create the illusion that we’re actually 10 years younger by creepily pretending to rename some buildings on campus and denying the fact that we’re closer to the age our parents were when we were born, than how old we were in elementary school.
If you can survive a tailgate, you can survive a zombie apocalypse.