It’s been 4 days since St. Paddy’s Day terrorized our little town of Newark, Delaware and we’re still (for some reason) seeing pics of it. If you’re one of the people waiting for that “perfect time” to post that “perfect Insta” that you SWEAR is like sooooo hot, check out this list. If your picture falls under any of these categories, keep it for your mems and off of our Insta feeds.
7.) Andre and bagels:
We get it, you woke up early and pumped your body full of alcohol-soaked sugar and carbs. Congrats. Before you go considering yourself a trailblazer for putting your bagel around the neck of your bottle, just know you are just one of a million Blue Hens who have lived through this long-standing tradition
6.) Rooftop pics:
Wherever you managed to weasel your way up, just know your ass isn’t the first to be sittin’ on those shingles. UD is infamous for its roof tops and the rowdy rockstars that line them. We understand this is your first St. Paddy’s spent on your hookup’s roof, overlooking the madness that is Benny, but c’mon, act like you’ve done this before.
5.) N Chap porch pics:
N Chap is notorious for it’s open-air porches and the Hens perched on them, literally any time of the year. As if our Instas aren’t flooded with it enough, it’s like the entire street decides the day before St. Paddy’s to make the rest of the student body hate them. We understand the lighting is honestly perfect, but you need to understand we don’t give a fuck.
4.) Police busting the dage behind Cleve:
Although police on St. Paddy’s Day are comparable to cockroaches in your Dickinson dorm room, there’s something special about that Brick Row Bust. Because of the train tracks and #RIP to the shortcut, there’s only so many directions underage-ragers can run. That scurry, although enjoyable to watch from your Cleveland porch, is one of the biggest cluster fucks of the day. Stop taking pictures and just focus on making it out alive, kids.
3.) Couple fucking behind Grottos:
Ever since St. Paddy’s Day back in 2014, couples and fuck buddies alike have tried to recreate the infamous Grottos Dumpster Fuck. Unfortunately, even the line for that sacred spot is already at a 45 minute wait by 9 a.m.. We really hope that waiting period gives you time to reflect on your choices (read: realize how disgusting you are), but if not it’s totally fine. Get it done but keep it off our Insta feeds.
It stops being hipster and cool when everyone and their srat sister gets their alcohol-soaked paws on a Polaroid. No matter which way you lay them out or what background you use to take them in front of, the dim lighting of a classic Polaroid really blocks out just how fucked up you are. Oh….is that why everyone loves them so much?
1.) Irish Car Bombs and Green Beers:
As if we didn’t get enough of this green beer bullshit when the Eagles won the Superbowl, we have to have it shoved in our faces a month later. Do you even know what turned that beer green? Us either. The Irish Car Bombs, on the other hand, are a once-a-year-thing. We were all doing it, we all (probably) vomited from it, and we all would prefer to go a whole year without seeing one again.
If you’ve made it to the end of this list and your picture doesn’t fall into one of those categories: you either had the lamest St. Paddy’s ever or are a beast us Blue Hens haven’t even seen yet. But if any of these perfectly described that Insta you were waiting until 3 p.m. today to post (prime Insta time), save it. Please.
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