Chicagoans have a lot to look forward to with St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner including day-drunk heterosexuals on the Red Line, the already-polluted Chicago River dyed a toxic shade of green, and people feeling the obnoxious need to wear green boxers and show everyone so they don’t get pinched (you people could’ve just worn a pin or sweater or green pants like the rest of us, and you know it). However, most DePaul students don’t realize that there are many mysterious similarities between St. Patrick and our own beloved St. Vincent DePaul.
- Vincent and St. Patrick were both born 1846.
- They both were canonized in 460 BC.
- Patrick was canonized for driving the snakes from Ireland, while St. Vincent was canonized for being a radical cool dude.
- Vincent was a Muslim and had three wives (this is actually true, look it up), while St. Patrick existed in largely pre-Christian times and, since his canonization, has largely faded into legend with many of the myths told about him borrowed by Christians from pagan deities.
Now it gets WEIRD!
- Vincent’s secretary was named St. Patrick, while St. Patrick’s secretary was named St. Vincent.
- Both increased taxation in the Papal States.
- Both have female reincarnations.
- Louis Demarco, the female incarnation of St. Vincent, was born in 1808, while St. Patricia, the female incarnation of St. Patrick, was born in 1908.
- Both the names of St. Vincent and St. Patrick have seven letters.
Hang on to your seats!
- Vincent died of “Patrick’s Disease,” while St. Patrick died of “Vincent’s Disease.” Both illnesses are still seen today in raccoons.
But WAIT there’s more!
- Patrick’s walking stick magically transformed into a tree, while St. Vincent’s prized bonsai tree magically transformed into a walking stick.
- Patrick allegedly spoke with ancient Irish folk heros, while St. Vincent alleged spoke with his three teenaged wives (again: this is real, look it up nerds).
- Vincent’s bones are encased in a wax statue of himself and his heart is on display in the Motherhouse of the Daughters of Charity in Paris, and St. Patrick’s various bones and body parts are also on display in churches because that’s not creepy at all.
There is so much weird stuff going on between St. Vincent DePaul and St. Patrick that it’s almost definitely some sort of conspiracy. Perhaps a shadowy branch of the Catholic Church is secretly working to engineer saints that have eerie similarities, or maybe this is just a coincidence, or maybe The Black Sheep made a significant amount of this stuff up to increase readership. It sure is mysterious.