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The 5 People You Meet in a Ray Yoga Class

The Ray Meyers Fitness and Recreation Center is one of our most beloved institutions here at DePaul as it is the perfect spot to check out people who exercise while enjoying a nice smoothie and breakfast quesadilla that come with the meal plan. Unbeknownst to most students, there are actually group exercise activities that can be done at the Ray that are actually kinda fun (we know: shocking). One of the most popular of these group exercises, alongside WERK Fitness, Kickboxing, and Zumba, is Yoga. Here are the top 5 people you’re likely to meet in one of those classes.

5.) Lincoln Park #HotMom:
People who are unaffiliated with DePaul can actually purchase a membership at the Ray, if they have a ridiculous amount of money, like forty dollars or something. Accordingly, a lot of Lincoln Park moms with a love of yoga and their husband’s money to burn congregate in yoga classes like moths to a flame. They’re cruel, powerful, and, unlike the rest of us, actually know how to do yoga. We recommend avoiding eye-contact if possible.

4.) Stoner trash:
Stoners are also drawn to yoga classes at DePaul. It isn’t clear if it’s the “totally chill atmosphere,” or the fact that the yoga classroom as one geode, a plant, and a picture of the Buddha, but stoners show up in numbers. They smell like weed, can’t focus long enough to have a conversation, and aren’t able to do most of the poses, but at least they’re friendly, and might smoke you down after the class.

3.) First timers:
Because these classes are free when you attend DePaul, you get a lot of people who have never done a day of yoga in their lives. Their hands are uncalloused, their stomachs are still soft and wonderful like those of a baby, and they can hardly stretch without whining. Their effort might be uplifting, but you’ll never see them again.

2.) Yoga grandpa:
Sometimes this enigmatic figure appears at Ray yoga classes and it is certainly a sight to see. He might be a literature professor, or maybe art history, or just some old guy off the street, but he can drop into downward dog with the best of them. He’s super skinny, and he’s got a lot of those gross wobbly neck things. Plus you know his shorts are way too short. Kinda cool he’s putting himself out there at his age, though.

1.) Broke yoga pros:
Everybody hates a showoff, yet they keep showing off. More than likely, you’ll end up with one person who just wants to show off how “good” they are at yoga. Listen Cindy, CorePower Yoga is down the block, if you want to be a dickhead doing handstands, they’d be happy to have you there, for the low price of $800 a month.

The Ray Meyers Fitness and Recreation Center is a great resource, and its good that so many different kinds of people know how to make use of it. Check out our social media for more relatable DePaul archetypes!

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