Welcome to the most disparaging tour of DePaul to ever be given. We got down to the nitty gritty, to what we all know is true of different areas of Lincoln Park’s campus. No one was forsaken, especially you, #LPMILFS.
(Click the image for a larger version, dummy!)
First Stop: Fullerton & Racine
1237 is the most luxurious student housing DePaul has to offer; it comes complete with its own proper website and everything that probably cost more to make than you’ve spent on rent in a year. The parties here have upgraded from $12 bottles of hard alcohol to $17 bottles. If you are the father or lawyer of someone who lives in 1237, and you are offended by this designation, we sincerely apologize. Please don’t sue us.
Next Up: The Quad
As we stroll up Fullertown towards the train, we pass the absurdly nice Theatre School and eventually hit the Quad. Spring quarter is so close, and with spring quarter comes the turf war between the frisbee/football bros and hula-hoopers. Please do tell us more about how hooping is a form of art.
Moving along: Kenmore & Fullerton:
There is so much going on here. You can grab shitty coffee at the Stu or slightly less shitty coffee in the SAC before embarking on a week long Adderall binge at JTR during midterms week. Find yourself needing to bum a cig? Don’t worry, cigarette row is also conveniently located right outside the SAC.
Fourth Stop: Sheffield & Fullerton:
$5 chicken Friday’s at Dominick’s have long been gone; replaced by the organic, lead-free, homegrown, locally sourced, vegan groceries at Whole Foods. Also, always have an excuse ready to go for the Sprig and Greenpeace ambassadors looking for a minute of your time. Lastly, let’s have a moment of silence for the fact that Devil Dawgs closes so early. Gone are the days when Devil Dawgs would receive you with their arms wide open late into the night. Now you always find yourself wondering whether Devil Dawgs is worth eating before hitting Kelly’s or McGee’s; most of the time you just let the alcohol decide for you.
Last Stop: Halsted, Lincoln, & Fullerton intersection:
Whether you’re grabbing a McPick 2 or a glorious Allende’s burrito, this late night food area has proven to withstand the test of time and solidified an endearing place in all DePaul students hearts.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: