One of the most challenging parts of a DePaul student’s day-to-day commute is navigating the Red Line. Picking a place to sit for the 25 minute ride between Fullerton and Jackson or the 10 minute ride between Fullerton and Addison the most important decision you can make at DPU, as it will make or break your L experience and thus the rest of your day and thus the rest of your shitty life. To help you with this difficult choice, The Black Sheep has written a guide to traveling on the Red Line.
If traveling on the L is a stressful experience for you and you’re terrified at the very sight of someone who isn’t from your safe little bubble of white, upper-class, 20-something college students, this section of seats is the perfect place to sit. They’re full of suburbanites and tourists who are in the same boat as you, and you can huddle with them for warmth and the illusion of safety on an L-car filled with normal people.
Whether it’s at three in the morning or three in the afternoon, everyone sometimes needs to make an intoxicated trip on the L, and these seats are definitely where you should sit to do it. Nothing adds to other people’s L experience like a group of drunk college kids shrieking about how wasted they are. And in these seats, smack-dab in the middle of the car, you can make sure everyone sees you and knows just how trashed you are as you flail around with your friends. Trust us, it’s not annoying at all that the drunk assholes inevitably sit here.
Occasionally, DePaul students actually need to travel beyond Addison or Jackson, perhaps even venturing down into the (GASP) South Side. If you are making a long-ish journey on the L, these seats are perfect for kicking back and taking a nap. No one will think it’s weird you’re just sleeping in a public space, we promise.
Of course, some DePaul Students ride the L purely to get their sick kicks. These kids love to prove to their friends how tough and urbane they are, how comfortable they are with city life. So, if you wanna prove how much of a badass you are when you ride the train, the little pocket at the front of the car is where you should sit. You can pretend not to be uncomfortable as you get all cozy with the homeless meth head sharing the nook with you. Wow, that’s so cool.
So, if you wanna ride the L, just follow The Black Sheep’s guide and follow us on Twitter at @BlackSheep_DPU, so you can have the best train experience.
Bored on the L? Listen to our podcast!