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The Black Sheep Investigates: How DePaul Decides Intramural Sports

In a quiet room in the Richardson Library, a committee stares restlessly at the chalkboard in front of them. The board is chalk-full of chaotic scribbles and jumbled words. Hesitation hangs in the air as votes are painstakingly counted. This is a matter of life and death. This is the Committee for Important Intramural Sports Decisions at DePaul.


Shannon Woodley, the president of the committee, agreed to chat with us about the decision making process that goes into choosing the next quarter’s intramural sports. “We feel very strongly about our process. And doughnuts. Maybe we could create an Intramural Sport about doughnuts…” Shannon trailed off, doodling donuts wearing jerseys as we made our way over to the official Committee for Important Intramural Sports Decisions at DePaul snack table.


“That’s how we come up with most of our ideas for various sports. We pick something we like and then pick an activity that is sort of like that,” one committee member, who preferred to remain anonymous, told us. According to him, this is how chess ended up on the roster for the Autumn quarter sports: “I really like action figures, and I thought the chess pieces looked like the kind that would be epic to battle with,” he told us, “that’s why chess was invented, so that adults wouldn’t feel so bad about playing with figurines.”


Once the initial suggestions are made, they all get placed on the chalkboard at the front of the room into three categories: “Real Sports,” “DePaul Thinks It’s A Sport,” and “What’s A Sport Again?” then, three sports from each category are voted to actually round out the quarter schedule.


Committee member, Ryan Durbles, stated, “This system really gives an opportunity for all students to be involved, no matter if they are looking for a fun extracurricular, trying to get in shape in a creative way, or got lost and accidentally ended up on a team!” 


The Intramural Competitions got pretty heated from reports of one flag football team staging their own Deflate Gate. Assuming such heated competitions must mean huge golden trophies, entered glory, and endless bragging rights, we asked what winning intraumural teams for each sport receives. “A t-shirt,” Shannon muttered reverently as her eyes glazed over, “a grey t-shirt.”


We stayed until the end of the meeting to witness a riveting conversation about sports that could involve doughnuts. “We decided upon Innertube Water Polo, because the tubes faintly resemble a doughnut-like shape,” Shannon demonstrated a full game with leftover doughnuts from the snack table. She concluded, “What could be better than sports and doughnuts? But make sure to tell them they don’t actually get doughnuts.”

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