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DePaul’s Mandatory 10 Hours of Community Service for Frats Totally Makes Up For Shitty Behavior

DePaul prides itself on being a progressive university rooted in “Vincentian values,” which, you know, is great! However, on DePaul’s journey to save the world, they may run into some trouble when admirers find out what, in general, fraternity men have been up to. Luckily, fraternity brothers at DePaul are currently required to complete at least ten hours of community service in order to remain in their frat of choice, in what we presume to be the University’s attempt to alleviate the common belief that Frat Dudes are The Worst.

This makes absolute sense because forcing someone to be a “good person” is bound to make up for any past and future discrepancies. And by discrepancies, we mean the countless times DePaul frat boys have royally fucked up, and the countless ways fraternity culture in general amplifies the, how should we say, not-so-great-behaviors-of-men-in-their-20s.

First of all, it’s important to address why a majority of the respectable population share the common belief that frat boys are assholes. It may have to do with their lack of diversity, respect or proper fitting shorts, or maybe the occasional widespread sexual and/or physical abuse that happens on a national scale

Instead of being known simply for throwing keggers and catcalling girls, DePaul frat boys are known for things like being a part of the DePaul Republicans (upon their father’s request), or even worse… being a business major. Those two things alone should be enough to illustrate the discrepancies we’re suggesting, but maybe we’re being too harsh.

Maybe these ten hours of required community service are actually influencing them to become more tolerable members of society. Ten total hours may not seem like a lot to the commoner, but hey, it’s probably more than Brad from Phi Sig has ever worked in his life, so cut him some slack.

To see if the enthusiasm of the average frat man to volunteer is genuine, we asked Spencer from Kappa Kappa Phi what motivates him, if anything, to complete his community service. He responded, “Yeah, all good. They let me bring my vape so it’s chill.” Wow, maybe there is hope for frat bois after all.

This new charitable persona that the frat population is taking on may truly rid fraternities of all stigma. We asked a DePaul sorority sister her thoughts on the behavior of her male counterparts post community service completion. She stated, “The last frat party I attended, I only got my ass grabbed twice so I’d say, a revolution is beginning. They’re really coming a long way!”

No matter how many times you’ve been wronged by a bro, you can just forget about it. DePaul frat boys are delicate flowers who are truly becoming better people from their forced services. Let’s just hope they stay reformed.

 

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