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5 Things This Year’s Freshmen Will Never Know About DePaul

Well, kids, it’s that time of year again. Time to stuff our backpacks, stock up on as many pencils as possible and get back on our collective DePaul workflow. As always, there will be a whole crop of fresh meat to torture, point and laugh at, or in most cases, simply ignore. These new students will make some incredible memories during these next four years, but there are some elements about our dear university that the DePaul class of 2021 will never know about.

5.) Wintrust vs PNC:
Until recently, DePaul has been a PNC campus. At orientation, it’s basically shoved down your throat that you should keep what little money you have in the bank associated with DePaul. For most of the students, that bank was PNC; tried and true. But when the university decided to build a larger, more luxurious stadium for the beloved basketball team, they pulled the plug on PNC and switched to Wintrust. Where is the loyalty DePaul?

4.) The Old D2L:
Rumor has it that DePaul updated the D2L page in order for the site to be more mobile-friendly. This means that the old layout and design are gone forever. Not a huge change, but anything that isolates the freshmen from the rest of the student body is worth noting. Don’t worry though, D2L will continue to perform maintenance at the most inconvenient of times despite its updated status. DePaul wouldn’t want things to be easy for you.

3.) Paying for Laundry:
Laundry has been free for students living on campus for a couple of years now but most of the senior class is still not over it. This change was a total fuck you to every sophomore during the 2015-2016 school year. Freshmen can wash their DePaul merch for absolutely no cost and upperclassmen are still scavenging for quarters like fuckin’ squirrels.

2.) Peaceful Political Climate:
For all the newbies on campus, congratulate yourself for having successful avoiding the rise of the DePaul College Republicans. In the spring of 2016, an infamous event called The Chalkening sent the university into a tailspin. While everyone was peacefully eating their Morning Classic bagels from Brownstones, one of the members of the DePaul College Republicans defaced the sidewalk with chalk. This marked the beginning of the end for a peaceful political climate on campus.

1.) The Holtschneider Administration:
Once upon a time, DePaul was a good Vincentian university. But just as soon as Daddy H decided to abandon his post, shit started to hit the fan on campus. Life under this administration was peaceful; dispositions were sunnier, morale was higher. Most importantly, the DePaul College Republicans flew mostly under the radar. Ultimately, it was an inherently better time for the University under Father Holtschneider. Welcome to the shitstorm, freshman.

As DePaul propels itself into the future, it becomes increasingly more important every once in a while to take a moment to reflect on the past and seek closure. The Black Sheep suggests that you do this while you’re bored in class as it makes the time go faster. Happy first day of school!

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