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The 4 Gayest Places at DePaul to Escape All The Heteros

A little known fact about DePaul is that despite its deeply Catholic roots, it has a thriving and vibrant gay community. However, this gayness doesn’t flow freely around the school, but is concentrated in small, rainbow glitter-covered pockets. Here’s The Black Sheep’s guide to DePaul’s gayest places, just in case you need to get away from all the heteros.

4.) The Theatre School:
Surprisingly, the Theatre School isn’t the gayest place on campus. Like, it’s still pretty gay, obviously, but it isn’t that gay. While it has its share of obnoxious theater gays and powerful theater lesbians who may seem super grounded but are actually as extra as the rest of them, the Theatre School also draws its share of heterosexuals, preventing it from achieving maximum gayness. A real tragedy.

3.) The Art Museum:
The DePaul Art Museum is MUCH gayer than the Theatre School. The place is just a stew of homosexual energy with the art and culture it’s trying to cultivate. Seriously, anything more thought-provoking than throwing a ball around must be super gay. Plus, the artsy folk who wander around the museum must be somewhere on the spectrum, because no hetero dresses anything with that many beads or in sweatpants that dirty.

2.) The Ray Meyer Fitness Center:
The Ray is a sweaty pit of homosexuals, but only during the warmer half of the year. As summer approaches, the place begins to fill up with hot mascs trying to build up their muscle mass for the beach season and perky twinks who are pretending to work out but are really just watching the mascs. A variety of daddies and bears also appear in the lobby, ready to grab the twinks that the mascs leave behind. It’s the circle of life.

1.) Cacciatore Stadium:
DePaul’s softball stadium is truly lousy with gays. Every day, this field serves as the secret meeting place for DePaul’s lesbian community, because they’re the only ones who actually care about softball (except for one confused freshman who hasn’t figured out that no one at this school cares about any sports yet, and very creepy old men). Under the watchful eyes of that creepy giant Vinny mural, DePaul’s lesbians frolic and play in a space that is truly their own. Magical.

This guide to the gayest places at DePaul should be useful for everyone at our university. Whether you’re a gay just trying to find a community, or a straight looking for yet more queer spaces to turn into trendy zoos, The Black Sheep has you covered.

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