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How to Get F***ing Pumped to Take All Three of Your Required Core Science Credits

Science is nuts man. It’s the reason we know all the weird stuff about the earth, space and everything else. Unless science is your shit, the rest of us are intimidated and fearful about what our GPA is going to look like from the aftermath of the final. But science is also really fucking cool. So get FREAKIN’ EXCITED to fulfill all those science credits.

Science knows how horniess works:
Scientists might not know exactly why something or someone turns you on, but goddammit they know enough about anatomy to understand the important parts and help them work better. That’s good enough for me, thanks science!

Science is what’s slowly, but surely making weed legalized:
Besides the terrible reasons weed was made illegal in the first place (i.e. racism) and the misinformation that spread all across the United States to make sure it was kept illegal (which is why your mom thinks it’s as bad as meth), science is what’s helping recreational weed slowly become legalized. Don’t you love it when people can use peer-reviewed evidence to make informed decisions versus make up laws just because they can? Plus we need a show called Pots of Recreation to be a thing A.S.A.P.

Psychology will help you understand your depression, then make you more depressed:
Let’s dive deep into your childhood and figure out why you’re so messed up! Is it because of your parents not giving you attention? Or a societal norm you subconsciously absorbed when you were a kid? Hint: it’s both! Now that you know society has conditioned everyone you know to think a certain way and there’s no escape, have a great day.

Become friends with your vegan pal again after learning about the yucky food industry:
Guys, it’s bad. So let’s be kind to our vegan friends! Let’s hear them out. Big businesses cut corners all the time so why would food business be different? Any science class at DePaul will be like drinking special Kool-Aid. Next thing you know, you’ve sworn off regular deodorants.

Get in dumb debates about what’s a fruit and what’s a veggie
Tomato is definitely a fruit. But a banana is a berry? All pickles are cucumbers but not all cucumbers are pickles. And actually, a raspberry isn’t a berry. FUCK YOU Diane yes it is. Forget everything you know. Cement is now hair gel and Tide pods are birth control.

Come on DePaul. We know you talk about making us well-rounded people. Why you gotta try and prove yourself by making us take THREE science classes? I would be okay with one, lenient on two, but three is a crowd.

Know anyone at one of these schools?

UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!

Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired! 

Click here to DM our Twitter and we’ll take it from there!

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