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Investigation: Does DePaul’s ETC Really Have ‘Etcetera’?

The ETC is one of the many places provided by DePaul to fulfill the needs of their on-campus students. At first glance, DePaul’s ETC looks like an average, overpriced campus convenience store that provides vital commodities to students like energy drinks and unhealthy food. However, the ETC claims to encompass much more than this, simply by their title, “ETC.” We at The Black Sheep took it upon ourselves to investigate what exactly constitutes “et cetera,” and does ETC really have it?

Essential oils

One aspect of the ETC that may give the store its infamous name is the bougie shit that the ETC carries: like essential oils. DePaul is notorious for claiming that they accommodate to all students, including the hippy/stoner population, so can these essential oils really count as et cetera? After all, they are essential.

Eight-dollar Oreos:

Perhaps another reason why the ETC has been given its title is the surplus of cheap foods such as chips, cereal and cookies that have suddenly experienced extreme inflation overnight. They charge over eight dollars for a package of Oreos, but that’s because the Oreos aren’t just Oreos, they have to be Oreos with “etc.” maybe the etc. component of the Oreos are the tears of Saint Vinny himself. There is really no other logical explanation for that level of Oreo.

Party drugs:

Maybe the et cetera comes from the fantastic selection of party drugs that the ETC provides, like NyQuil, which may very well be the only thing the store carries that is worth the money. As we previously stated, DePaul caters to all walks of life, including the frat boy population. Again, these are necessities.

Spa supplies:

After a long day of three hours of class and smoking pot in the shower of their dorm room, on-campus students really need to blow off some steam. Luckily, we found that the ETC doubles as a spa. Tending to all the NEEDS of the upper middle class with things like, “all natural shampoo,” exfoliating pads (dual sided), face lotions and even gluten-free cookies…the ETC is code for living lavish af.

Feminine hygiene products:

Many believe that feminine hygiene products are a necessity, except for the DePaul Republicans who definitely deem them as et cetera. Luckily, the ETC takes pity on DePaul’s female population and provides a couple “adequate” products at a price that is somehow even higher than the already ludicrous standard market price.That’s remarkable!

After taking a deeper inside look, we realized that the ETC is actually a campus convenience store on steroids, designed for the elite (students with the richest parents) of DePaul. Maybe the store should be called “overpriced everything,” but for now, we’ve concluded it lives up to encompassing et cetera. After all, Oreos made with the tears of St. Vinny are a rare and precious gem.

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