DePaul has a long history of innovative marketing campaigns. Our weird tree-thing logo is really catchy and easily understood by everyone who sees it, and that giant blue “D” that is plastered everywhere is very pleasant looking. However, the latest proposed DePaul merchandise might just be the most innovative yet. Some marketing student recently suggested that the campus bookstore release a chain of overpriced DePaul-themed scented candles. We agree that’s a great proposal so we created some of our own scents. Here’s The Black Sheep’s favorite scents for the best DePaul themed candles.
5.) St. Vincent Sunset:
This scented candle really does smell like something Daddy Vincent would have approved of. Its sweet, earthy tones really capture the Vincentian service that Vinny tried so hard to instill in his followers. Plus, the candle is colored a bright, cheery yellow: just the kind of shade that would have been so appealing to St. Vincent’s three pre-teen wives.
4.) Spilled Smoothie:
“Spilled Smoothie” is sure to brighten up the home of any DePaul student, alumni, or faculty member. Its natural, sugary fragrance will fill your house like one of the Bean’s famous overpriced smoothies was spilled over your lap. The candle even has the same chunky, too icy texture of a Bean smoothie. This scented candle really does evoke an important part of the DePaul experience.
3.) Blue Demon Fur:
Every DePaul student has at some point wondered what it would be like to run our fingers through the fur of our beloved mascot DIBS, to press our faces into his blue chest and feel his powerful odor all around us. With the “Blue Demon Fur” candle, we can feel that scent with us all the time, almost like DIBS is staying by our side, though that’s impossible because he’s a sexy beast who can’t be tied down. “Blue Demon Fur” has the same sense of power and dominance as DIBS himself, and is a must have for any DePaul fanatic.
2.) Ray Meyer Musk:
There’s nothing quite like walking into the Ray Meyer Fitness Center and being hit by its wave of powerful body odor. The heavy scent of a thousand muscular armpits is the perfect thing to get you into the mood for exercise. With the “Ray Meyer Musk” scented candles, anyone can take that sharp, fitness center smell home with them. Perfect for warding off potential dates and for drawing flies.
1.) Ranch Grease:
The most nostalgic thing for former DePaul students is undoubtedly STU’s Ranch restaurant. The greasy, poorly-prepared, expensive fast food is just the thing for loosening the bowels, and the distinctive smell of all that grease really brings back memories of nights spent on the toilet. DePaul’s choice to launch the “Ranch Grease” scented candle was a smart marketing decision and is a must have for every DePaul student who no longer has to eat that shitty on-campus food.
DePaul’s scented candles could undoubtedly change the market for university merchandise. It would really be great to fill your home with your favorite DePaul smells. What scents do you want to see on shelves? Tweet us @BlackSheep_DPU!