Connect with us
Connect with us

Florida State University

5 FSU Qualtrics Surveys that are Clearly Just Booty Calls in Disguise

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had that dry, finals season when we just have to bite the bullet and fill out all of FSU’s annoying surveys. But if you realllllly scrutinize them, it becomes obvious that they’re just sad booty calls from the nerds who make these questionnaires. Here are seven of the common campus surveys that are really just booty calls in disguise:

5.) Campus life surveys:
This is the classic move done by any university faculty member to catch some tail. Cue any university faculty member pretending to be concerned about our general lives at FSU. With questions such as “What’s your favorite restaurant on campus?” and “On a scale of 1-10, how is your overall college experience?” it’s hard not to see the sexual undertones. 

4.) Mental health surveys:
These lightly veiled surveys that supposedly gather data about students’ minds are really just, you guessed it, booty calls. Think about it– the survey isn’t actually asking whether you’re feeling stressed or happy; it’s asking if you’re down for no-strings-attached sex.

3.) Professor evaluations:
These surveys are evaluating something, but it sure isn’t your teacher’s performance. Isn’t it suspicious that the all mighty professor would want a mere student’s opinion on a job they’ve been doing for decades? Here’s a light translation: “Overall performance as a professor from 1 to 5” = “Rate me based on sex appeal. 10/10?;, “How can the class be improved?” = “How can my sexual prowess be improved?”; and finally “Is this a required course for you?” = “U up?”

2.) Blackboard questions of the week:
“How do you plan to practice self care during finals?” Oh please. Those straightforward, single questions on the Bb homepage are always so intrusive. This one is CLEARLY asking if we’re masturbating regularly.

1.) Extra credit research surveys:
Don’t think that when you haul yourself all the way to the Psych Building to get that credit for your gen. ed. class you’re not going to find a booty call. Even these seemingly harmless 20 question surveys that pop up after some lame lab experiments are just more attempts to fuel a lonely derelict’s sex drive. For science, of course.

Continue Reading

More from Florida State University

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top