Admittedly, it probably stung a lot at first, but by now, you’re mostly over it. You woke up Bid Day only to realize that your favorite house didn’t think you had the chops to make the cut. Were you too distant? Dress sense slightly off? Or were you just not fun enough? Doesn’t matter now, because you know exactly how to prove to them that you’re both cute, and fun-loving enough to be in house that dropped you.
6.) Taking an Instagram pic with the gals™️ while throwing toilet paper all over the house:
This Saturday night, walk up to the Iota Beta Lambda Kappa Epsilon house with your two best friends, and make a cute Boomerang of you throwing toilet paper all over the windows and walls of the house. Just make sure the toilet paper is clean –you don’t want to lose any followers.
5.) Dressing up fancy and visiting every house every night for the rest of your life:
So what if fall recruitment didn’t work out exactly the way you wanted it to? Nobody says you can’t do it again. Do it again, every single night. Put on your best dress and your best Fenty makeup, and visit all of Jefferson Street. You know what the old folks say — if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, and try again.
4.) Donating $1,000 in Monopoly money to a member’s dance marathon campaign:
It pays off to remain professional and respectful after being denied from a position, so why not donate to a house member’s DM campaign? It might be hard for you to part with your cash, so reach into your wallet and send out $1,000 of your hard-earned Monopoly dollars to an Iota Beta Lambda Kappa Epsilon sister.
3.) Drop the sorority from your house:
Pull the Uno reverse card out from under your sleeve, and watch the tide turn. Show the house that two can play at the that game, and drop them from your house. They’ll never see it coming.
2.) Take their advice and drop out of school entirely:
Maybe there was a chance that the house was right to drop you from the list. Take it as a sign, or an omen — it’s not just Greek life dropping you, but FSU and the education system as a whole. Be proactive and formally withdraw from Florida State University.
1.) Start your own sorority, with the same exact name:
What’s cuter than accidentally wearing the same dress as your best friend? Accidentally starting a sorority with the same name as your favorite one. Not only will you be able to wear the same letters as the house that dropped you, but you’ll also be able to show up to events and verify that you are indeed a member of IBLKE. Cute!
You know who you are, and there’s no way on Earth that anyone could convince you that you’re not cute and fun-loving. All you need to do now it let those bitches know.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.