Uh-oh. You done did it now. Your roommate from last semester was smart to recommend you not take any 8 a.m. classes. Now you’ve skipped recitation twice a week, for 14 weeks straight, and you just found out that attendance is 10% of your grade. What ever will you do?
6.) Just show up to office hours:
You heard it from every senior when you were a freshman. Just go to your professor’s office hours, and you guys will become BFFs. You’ll get a better grade in under an hour, without even trying. That’s how it usually works…
5.) Forge 28 doctors’ notes from the Health and Wellness Center:
You can’t photocopy notes from the HWC; they’re printed with special paper that voids itself in a copier. So, just forge one instead. You learned a bit about Microsoft Word in that one CGS class with the boring professor, right? All you’ll need to do is email a digital photo of the note, rather than bringing the printed copy in.
Just do this at least 28 times and you should be good to go.
4.) Unexpectedly transfer to Texas A&M:
Like Jimbo always said, when the going gets tough, the tough get going to Texas A&M. This one class you failed won’t transfer into the Lone Star state, so you can safely recover the GPA points you otherwise would’ve lost. On the other hand, leaving to Texas A&M means that your spot will immediately be filled by someone better at your major than you. Life’s full of trade-offs.
3.) Don’t let your professor fail you, fail your professor:
Perhaps the two most well-respected students at FSU are the two frat brothers who once famously told a Tallahassee news station, “we’re not suspended, you’re suspended!” Take a page from their book, and turn the tables on your teacher. Fail HIM instead, and tell him he should’ve taken his lazy self to class at least once. Boom.
2.) Drop out and start a new life as an FSU sports blogger:
There’s no nobler way to wave the white flag than to wave a white flag that’s actually garnet and gold. You can just see the name in flashing lights now: FSUDROPOUTSPORTSBLOG.COM. You’ll go viral in no time, so why bother lamenting over failing this class? Just get rich with a sports blog.
1.) Might as well skip the final too:
If you’ve already skipped 28 sessions of this class, it’s really not much of a stretch to use this as an excuse to skip the exam. Not like you were going to pass anyway. Take the day off for mental health reasons. Treat yourself to ice cream, a far away beach, and then cry yourself to sleep over the big, fat ‘F’ you just earned yourself.
The legendary sage, William Taggart, once said, “live in the present, and do not dwell in the past.” This, fellow Noles, is exactly the advice we all need. Don’t even worry about your final grade this semester. That’s all in the past.
Know anyone at one of these schools?
UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!
Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired!
DM our twitter and we’ll take it from there!