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How To Cross The Street At FSU

 

Despite common knowledge, crossing the street at Florida State does not mean walking whenever and however you please. Turns out there are actual rules (that apparently ensure safety or whatever). So we’re going to kick it elementary-style and learn the very basics of crossing the road of FSU. Grab your pencil case and your lunchbox, you gon’ learn some stuff today.

 

3.) Look Both Ways Twice:
The first and most important rule is to double check before crossing the street. This rule is super hard and complicated because no FSU student has done it before. The trick is to lift your eyes up off your phone and look at the cars on the street. Once your eyes are on the road, the rest is pretty easy. All you have to do is determine whether or not there are any cars in your sight that could potentially hit you! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

 

2.) Use the Buddy System:
You need to have a partner to cross the street! Grab the hand of whoever is closest to you and squeeze tight. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know who they are – safety always comes first. Stay close to your partner until you’re on the other side of the road. If your partner comes onto you or asks for your number after you’ve crossed the street, we’re not liable. Maybe run.

 

1.) Be Okay to Others (Optional):
This rule is simple: don’t be a dickhead, a fart-face, or an asshole. Be considerate of the drivers and bikers on the road, because chances are, they’re assholes too. So wake up your resting bitch face (read: look a little nice to signal people to go ahead) and let someone else to go first. That way you decrease your odds of being struck by them.

 

If you still have questions regarding how to cross the street, feel free to address any child who looks over four. They’re probably learning about basic manners right now and can give you some solid tips.

 

Is there actual crack in Pumpkin Spice Lattes? Or is it something else?

 
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