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6 2016 Florida State Memories To Purge From Your Brain on NYE

This past year was basically a long uphill struggle. We were hopeful in the beginning, but then the natural disasters started to occur and football season began. As a unified student body, we can all agree that the memories made in 2016 should just be forgotten. Okay Seminoles, let’s take a shot and list off some of the things we DON’T want to remember in the New Year:

6.) The Hand Foot And Mouth Disease Epidemic:
This, first of all, is a common children’s virus. So how did it end up spreading on the campus of Florida State University? Someone either has some freaky child habits, like sucking their thumb, or they are prone to touching poop. Neither of these options are appealing thoughts for our prestigious campus. Therefore, we will be happy to leave this stanky memory behind us in 2016.

5.) Kellum Hall:
In 2016, our “beloved” Kellum Hall was demolished right in front of our very eyes. Though it was surely taken down for good reason, it’s still weird to see that giant brick building of hormones reduced to rubble. Most of our memories of the place include puking in the shared bathrooms and pubes in our shower sandals, but we were still sort of upset to see them go, like when an old racist aunt dies.

4.) The Clowns:
The clown epidemic was something no one liked from the beginning. If you dress up like a murderous clown and show up somewhere uninvited – chances are everyone’s going to hate you immensely. When these terrifying clowns started gathering on campus, everyone went berserk. The statement “No one is safe” went to a whole new level, and for a while we all thought death-by-psycho clown crawling out of our nightmares wasn’t just a bad movie trope. We are literally praying evil clowns will only be a 2016 thing.

3.) Lack Of Power (Literally):
For about a week straight, Tallahassee went rogue thanks to Hurricane Hermine. It was a really rough time for the people of Tallahassee, and it would be better if it was simply forgotten. What started as a joke became really serious when the air conditioning didn’t work and we had to find some form of entertainment other than Netflix. Sitting on your ass is not as easy as it sounds when you don’t have Stranger Things playing on repeat.

2.) The Election:
This year was momentous for a lot of FSU students because it marked the first year that we could legally vote in an election. However, it was also momentous because it was a train wreck. Being on campus where strong opinions have no boundaries and everyone thinks they are right is a scary place for an election season. Tears were shed. Chairs were thrown. Some of these memories are probably already forgotten (due to drinking).

1.) The Blowing Loss to Clemson:
2016 was a year where FSU students learned what it was like to lose, and the students quickly realized that it f***ing sucks to be a loser. All students will undoubtedly be really glad to see this memory fade into obscurity. We lost by 3 points in the end, mostly because the refs decided they wanted to make this year suck a little extra for the students at FSU.


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