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FSU Honors Freshmen Stress-Brag About Early Class Registration

As students at Florida State fill their schedules with classes for summer and fall, only a select group will get to actually register for their classes. Landis students will gather to watch the clock strike 8 a.m., while average students will have to wait.

“I got into all of my classes on my first try without any errors. Some of my ‘lower-level’ friends won’t even be allowed to register until next Monday and all of their first choices will probably be full,” stress-bragged Abby Fleishman, former Salutatorian of her high school. “Not everyone can be as smart as the Honors students. We slaved away in high school for a 5.0 GPA and a 2230 on our SATs to go to a state school.”

TJ Wetzlemen, Abby’s RA and former Honors freshman, agrees with his student resident:

“When I got accepted to Vanderbilt’s Business School and IM lacrosse team, I begged to my parents to let me go there,” said Wetzlemen.  “I was about to accept my Vandy offer, when an FSU academic rep called me and said I’d gotten into their Honors Program. I laughed into the phone at the state school rep until he said, ‘You’ll get early registration for classes!’ I committed to FSU on the spot.”

Not everyone is as fortunate as these Honors students. John Newberry was found in hysterics in Strozier Library after all of the classes he’d added to his tentative schedule disappeared.

“I really needed ENC 2135 and now it’s…it’s gone,” Newberry cried. “I was always on the Honor Roll in high school and volunteered on the weekends! I don’t know why I didn’t get into the Honors Program. I just want a good education!”

Average students like Newberry have threatened to have their parents call the school if registration policies don’t change.

Whether or not early registration practices change or remain, Honors students won’t let the rest of the FSU student body forget that they’re better than them and already have their schedule for next semester solidified.

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