For FSU students summer means White Trash Wednesday, and #WTW means it is time to get fucking smashed in your best pair of jorts at the shittiest bars in town. But every so often, there are the others. The Rebels. The select few who risk their lives and don’t dress up for White Trash Wednesday. They are CRAZY and they want to tell you everything that you’ve been absolutely dying to hear about their life-changing experience.
When Claire Forbes, 20, went out on White Trash Wednesday this past week, she made a life-altering decision that would change the course of humanity forever. On Wednesday, June 20th, 2018, Claire wore normal clothes to White Trash Wednesday.
“Honestly, nobody even noticed. Like, I just wore normal clothes, and no one said, like, anything”. But like, I felt like people were judging me, you know, but who cares right? It was just so crazy because everyone else looked like they starred in that Duck Dynasty show. I didn’t even look like I belonged in Ken’s!” said Forbes about the events that took place that night.
When questioned as to why she went against the social norm Forbes gave credit to wisdom in her elder years.
“Honestly, I’m a sophomore now, so it’s time to grow up and stop dressing up. Plus, I’d rather look like a slut than white trash any day!”
Dylan Johnson, 23, had a similar experience when he chose to defy all standards that society forcefully imposed on his strongly independent self.
“I don’t know why I didn’t dress up for White Trash, honestly. It was kind of nice not having to wear jorts that squeeze my balls to my thighs. Plus, I got way more attention from the ladies when I didn’t dress up,” said Johnson. “I usually wear all of that white trash stuff on a day-to-day basis anyway, so no losses for this dude.”
White trash enthusiast Tucker Burnes was not pleased with the students lack of compliance to the party theme.
“We do this every Wednesday. It’s not called Regular Weenie Wednesday. It’s called White Trash Wednesday. It’s not about being comfortable, it’s about immersing the FSU population in culture and keeping tradition alive,” said Burnes as he spit out some of his chewing tobacco. “To be completely honest it’s just disrespectful.”
Forbes and Johnson assured The Black Sheep that they stood behind their decision, Forbes going as far to say that she would never dress up for a party theme again. What a brave soul.
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