Florida State has some special idiosyncrasies that can only be described using pie charts and bar graphs. Scroll ahead to see how fraternity life and pumpkin spice lattes get plotted would be plotted on a graph by a Seminole.
Although there are a few proud Florida State students who are drinking and enjoying our nationally ranked football team, the rest of the student population is actually human. Thousands of students start to melt in unison when the sun reflects off of the 63 foot high Jumbotron and sizzles their skin. After the first quarter of the game, death doesn’t sound so bad anymore.
You’ll either get the perfect drink with a smile, or crap in a cup with a heavy sigh. There is no in between.
Around 5 p.m. every afternoon, the Leach is inundated with Fraternity boys who are just eager to get swole. Between the hours of 4 and 6 p.m., access to the Leach is only granted to members who are wearing a tight muscle tank, gym shorts, Nike shoes, and plan to work on arms that day.
Mostly girls named Ashley or Jessica.
There’s something about the complete dullness of the walls and the emptiness in the bathrooms of the HCB building that can make students at Florida State contemplate the meaning of everything. Sitting in a Computer Fluency class for an hour and a half will do that to a person.
If you go to Landis Green, you will see hundreds of students walking by with hopeless longing for a dog. If one should appear, the girls will flock, and the boys will pretend they didn’t bring it there to get attention.
If you cook it, they will come.
There is no correlation.
Since when do college apartments have rooftop pools?