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Huh: Weather Channel Finds That Hurricane Michael Looks Like A Huge Dick

Tallahassee residents have been urged to evacuate in wake of Hurricane Michael’s landfall Wednesday afternoon. The storm is currently packing 150 m.p.h. winds with higher gusts as of noon and is reportedly moving NNE at 69 m.p.h. The GFS, ECMWF, and UKMET global models of Hurricane Michael all show significant deepening of the central pressure. Tallahassee is also currently under tornado and flood watch, but these conditions are just the tip.

Although Hurricane Michael was originally a tropical storm, it has since intensified to a hurricane in less than 24 hours and currently stands at almost a Category 5 storm.

In order to prepare for Hurricane Michael, residents have been warned to expect more than a few inches tonight. The storm is expected to pound Tallahassee all throughout Wednesday night. The region saw storm surge, rain and wind as early as late Tuesday, though forecasters noted the time frame of the storm is still in flux.

According to the National Weather Service Michael has been a late bloomer, causing the models to have had a hard time settling on a track. The storm is definitely going to penetrate deep down south, and as always, residents can expect a warning if there will be more than 6 in. of rain.

 “Don’t expect this storm to pull out too quickly,” said local weatherman, Dan Harbin, in a morning discussion of the storm. “Hopefully the storm doesn’t hit too hard and last too long.”

With the amount of rain that is expected, residents should not expect to be able to go in dry. In previous years, residents reported remaining wet until the storm was over. The National Weather Service warns that those affected should seek medical attention if the storm lasts longer than four hours. The National Weather Service reminds residents that there will be no flood warning with Michael, and flooding can come at any minute if the storm strikes hard or a pipe bursts and residents are without protection.

Florida State University has opened Donald L. Tucker Civic Center to students and faculty who may feel unsafe in their off-campus housing. The facility will remain open until Florida State University issues the all clear once the hurricane has passed. Upon arriving at the facility, students should bring a blanket and pillow, and rubbers (rain boots, raincoats, etc.).

Off-campus housing is expected to be able to take the blow. Residents are advised to stay away from all doors and windows, and to park their vehicles as far away from any trees as possible. 150 m.p.h. winds could easily bend you over, and residents should be aware of this danger.

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