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Light Summer Shower Cancels FSU Classes for Rest of Semester

Earlier this week, a light summer shower fell from the sunny Tallahassee skies, resulting in unforeseen panic and immediate reaction from Florida State University.

While rain may seem like a common thing to most Floridians, FSU administrative officials met on Monday to discuss the post-rain plan and decided to cancel classes for the rest of the semester.

“We can’t just have students running across damp concrete, that’s not an option to us,” said Planning and Programs officer Becky Cars III. “We spoke with the other board members and came to a conclusion together: we value saving face more than our students’ education, it’s that simple”.

This comes as no surprise to many students who have seen FSU officials display this kind of behavior in the past. One student described what happened to him after spilling a Diet Coke on the floor of Suwannee Hall.

“Last semester I was chomping like 12 corndogs while trying to hold my tasty ice cold Diet Coke, when I tripped over Ms. Killings’ lovely personality and spilled my bev’ everywhere,” sophomore Kenny Cullen explained. “A school official immediately ran over and shoved me out of the way, before slurping up the Diet Coke. I got a letter in the mail the next day telling me I had been honorably excused from classes for the rest of the semester due to personal tragedy.”

Florida State employees defended the honorable excusing, stating, “We believe we made the right choice considering the outside factors that were in play. The last thing we would want is to put our students at risk of extreme thirst.”

Rain didn’t only cancel the rest of the semester however. FSU officials announce that the men’s football team will now all join the swim team.

“Since this light summer’s shower caused small puddles across campus, we figured we would put our football players to good use,” said one FSU official who preferred to remain anonymous. “We bought all of our players those plastic little hair caps and told them to start swimming laps in the Westcott fountain. And man, that new quarterback sure is tall.”

Currently, campus is closed for the rest of the fall semester for non-athletes, and FSU officials likely won’t go back on their word. Please continue to check out The Black Sheep for any further updates on school activity regarding weather conditions, as well as Weather FSU.

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