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MadSo Announces Another Really Cleverly Named Bar Crawl for Sad Rich Kids on Thanksgiving

The Million Muggle March, Santacon, and now this, Madison Social is notorious for their themed bar crawls and November sees no shortage. So if you’re stuck in Tally for Thanksgiving and have a substantial amount of money to blow for a night out, then this is the place to be.

The College Town restaurant is partnering with best friends Township, Grasslands Brewing Company, and the ever-hip Centrale Pizza Parm and Bar to host what they’re calling a “pilgrimage” crawl for those seeking comfort, adventure, and perhaps religious awakening this holiday.

“My mom refused to pay for a first class ticket back home to Ohio for Thanksgiving since she’s already paying for one for Christmas, so I told that bitch she can stuff herself,” said former Zeta Beta Zeta president and For The Table annual pass holder Margaret Sinclair.

The Pilgrimage will take place on November 23rd and will last from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m. Tickets cost $300 and include two bottles of Rolling Rock and a hand-pressed t-shirt that reads, “Full of SHIT Turkey,” next to a picture depicting a full handle of Wild Turkey Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey. On the back, of course, is the fan favorite Madison Social logo.

“My parents decided to go to Croatia for the holidays without me– apparently I ‘give them headaches’ and I need to ‘grow up’ and ‘stop calling them three times a day’– so Margaret and I decided to take the initiative and reach out to MadSo to demand a place for us to get riggity wrecked!” sixth year senior and Margaret’s friend, Josh Samuels, said while using air quotes.

In anticipation of the event, Madison Social has posted a warning on all social media platforms stating, “If you’re gonna gobble till you wobble, don’t tag us in the pictures on Instagram of you in a wheelchair, please. And for anyone interested in purchasing a ticket add-on, an extra $100 will you get a third Rolling Rock as well as a custom MadSo tote bag. Think about it.”

“I think this crawl will really make us feel like we’re a part of something again, you know? We’re basically orphans at this point and to be honest, I’m super excited to be surrounded by my FSU fam and not remember any of them the next day.” Josh said.

Tickets are almost sold out, so head on over and pick up yours today. The only requirements are that you have to have a minimum of $3,000 in your checking account and you must be a direct descendant of one of America’s founding fathers.

Costumes are encouraged, so break out the pilgrim hats and cultural-appropriating Native American accessories, and get ready to celebrate Black Wednesday, our annual day of turk #thankful.

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