After spending 7 years together, head football coach and big time softie boy, Jimbo Fisher, has broken up with FSU after just one fight.
The Florida State Seminoles, a usually winning team, suffered a mediocre 5-6 season, to which Fisher’s immediate response was to “separate”.
“We had a good run,” said Fisher, the weenie who can’t handle big boy things. “But after all we’ve been through I think it’s best if we start seeing other people. I just don’t think I could go through something like that again.”
It’s been reported that flaky, noncommittal Fisher has no intention of trying to work on the relationship, as he is even avoiding attending Saturday’s game against the Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks, a team whose name itself likely secures a W that would otherwise mend this rough patch.
“I’ll admit, things had been a bit weird between us,” said very tall and injured quarterback, Deondre Francois. “But I thought the win against UF would smooth things over. We’ve been together a long time now, I didn’t think something like this would come between us.”
Fisher, who won’t even send a text back, has already found himself in another relationship with big time slut, Texas A&M, a team who has likely been courting him for the entire season.
“Have you seen how cute their mascot is?” said soy boy Fisher. “I mean a horse is pretty and all, but damn that Collie’s gorgeous.”
FSU is alone for the time being, but hopes to fill the void with someone a little more faithful and a little less of a cuck in the coming weeks.
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