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Which Halloween Monster is Your Major?

 

Halloween is over and you are all putting away your bunny ears, fake blood, and political figure masks. However, overexcited fall pictures are still being taken with pumpkin patches and everyone is instagramming pictures of those two red leaves that fall in Tallahassee every year. If you are still in denial about Halloween being over and want inspiration for next year, continue reading to find out what monster embodies your major.

 

English:

 

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Vampire. English majors are often up all night writing papers, short stories, poems, etc. They smuggle large books into their coffins when they’re supposed to be sleeping during day light hours. English majors stick their fangs into people and places and suck stories out of them. They thrive off of other people’s stories… and sweet O negative, of course.

 

Biology:

 

frankenstein

 

Frankenstein’s monster. “He’s ALIVEEEEE,” just like all of the organisms biology majors study. Become a science experiment gone wrong next Halloween and dress up as Frankenstein’s monster. Smash things, get angry. Your major is hard, you deserve it.

 

 

History:

 

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Mummy. History majors love learning about the past and all of the things the world has been through. What better monster to exemplify them than an embalmed human body that has been preserved for thousands of years? Pulling this costume off is cheap. All you need to do is sneak into a dorm and steal the free toilet paper they put out on the front desk and wrap it around yourself a few times and voila — you’re a mummy!

 

Theatre:

 

 

Phantom of the Opera. No monster figure is as much of a prima donna as the Phantom of the Opera, and no major is as prima donna as theatre majors. The Phantom is dark, twisted, and supremely talented just like (most) theatre majors. Embrace your voice next Halloween and dress up as the Phantom. We’re sure you’d be singing anyway, but what better excuse to belt out “Music of the Night” than Halloween?

 

 

Chemistry:

 

Witches and Wizards. Chemistry majors can be found in the lab at all hours of the night mixing chemicals and creating reactions. Similarly, witches and wizards can be found huddling around their cauldrons brewing potions. If you’re a chem major take a night off from the lab next Halloween, wear all black, and have a seance with all of your witchy friends. Casting spells probably won’t get you an A on your organic chemistry test, but it’s worth a shot (or 7).

 

Education:

 

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Zombies. Education majors and zombies have one very important thing in common: they both love braaaiinnnnnssss. Education majors want to impact young people’s brains and zombies want to eat them. Despite the nutritional value, avoid consuming raw pink matter of the adolescent type. If you have ever thought about eating a child’s brain we highly suggest you switch majors, but if you just want to pretend, then be a zombie next Halloween.

 

The Halloweekend is over, and in addition to the regret of chasing liquor with Pixie Stix, is the regret that you, once again, waited until the last second to pick a costume. Get literally as far ahead of the game as possible this year, and pick your costume now! 

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