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How to Be Facey in Lib West

Well, it’s the second worst time of the semester again! Yep, you guessed it: midterm season. While your life won’t be the black hole of misery and despair that it is during finals, your urge to climb to the top of Century Tower and jump off will definitely be a few notches higher than usual. Not all is lost though. You may not be able to go out and see all your friends, but the library is actually one of the faciest places on campus. Use these tricks and you’ll be showing hella face while simultaneously maintaining that 3.0 minimum GPA to keep your bright futures:

Lib West or bust:
The Marston vs. West argument is one that UF students have been having since the dawn of time. We aren’t going to get into which is an overall better library (*cough West *cough), however for face purposes the answer is indisputably West. Marston basement is an acceptable last resort if there are absolutely no spots left at West, but hopefully it never comes to that. Plus, it smells like mold and freshmen down there. Gross.

Run the middle tiers:
You have to think strategically when deciding what floor to study on, much like a frat boy strategizing when trying to get laid. The higher you go up in tiers, the higher the quality will go up, but so will the work required. Same goes with the library. Go to the fourth floor and you will be grinding non-stop the whole time, but for a happy medium of socializing and studying try the second or third floor.

On or off row:
Face row consists of the rooms on the second and third floor, right around the elevator. The best spot ultimately being the room on the third floor with the circle booths around the edges. This is prime real estate if your goal is to show as much face as possible. Being off row, however, has its own advantages. You may not see the same foot traffic and turnover as row, but the people there are usually there for the long haul. Kind of like how it works with picking a house to go to on gamedays.

Always be reppin’:
Even if it’s 30 degrees out, you are without doubt going to be seeing dudes walking around in their Sigma Delta Douchebag tanks. You know what they say, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. If you’re part of a club or team, rep it hard. Frat boys, throw on your least dirty frat tee. Sorority girls, rock that shacker shirt you earned last weekend.

Obnoxious laptop stickers amplify face:
All it takes is a quick glance and not only can you tell that Debbie is in Delta Tau Phi (DTF for short), but also that she loves cats, watches The Office, and apparently is into Buddhism (or maybe just short, fat dudes). You’re so quirky, Debbie!

Take “face laps”:
Why bother coming all the way out to the library if you’re just going to sit in one place the whole time? For maximum face-showage, you have to walk around and see who else is hating their life with you. Just get up from your desk under the pretense of a water fountain or bathroom trip and make a quick lap.

You may be about to fail that exam tomorrow, but now at least you’ll be gaining something out of that 12 hour Adderall-fueled library sesh. Just try to channel any residual happiness from spring break and soon you’ll be able to drink away all the pain.

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