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Here’s Why Having a Taco Bell in Mid will Fill the Hole Catina Left in Your Heart

For those living under a hole, there’s currently a Taco Bell under construction on University Avenue. At first glance it may seem like all this will amount to is pure havoc to be wreaked on your poor butthole, but  hold your horses, pal! This has the potential to be an opportunity Gators having been hoping would happen for a year now. While no one can ever, truly fill the spot in our hearts that Cantina occupied, this may be a way to partially fill that chasm (or at least to help it heal a little faster). Here are some reasons to give tacos a chance:

Listen, it’ll probably be a Taco Bell Cantina:
Their word, not ours. Earlier this year, Taco Bell announced plans to open around 300 Cantina locations around the country. And if you don’t know what that means, it means booze in your burrito. WOW. They’re keeping the locations under wraps (or tortillas, ha) and haven’t yet said whether the new Gainesville location will be serving margs or not. But honestly, there’s no spot better to strategically place a Cantina location than a few hundred yards from where the entire UF student drinking body gets shit faced on a regular basis. And where the Catina used to be. R.I.P. sweet prince.

Margs will be cheap as shit:
These so-called margaritas served at Midtown Social or Swamp just don’t cut it. UF needs somewhere that knows what they’re doing when it comes to the intricate craft of making bottom shelf margaritas, and we’re about to get that back. Throw some Baha Blast in the mix and it’s a fiesta!

Drunk tacos, duh doi:
While Midtown has many bar options, its food options at night are annoyingly slim. Basically, its either Pizza by the Slice or Relish, because who the hell wants a drunk pita? Now you will be able to satisfy your drunchies with seven Chalupas and four Mexican pizzas, then not feel so bad when you throw it all up on the girl in the bathroom with you.

This Tbell will be open later than you can stay up, baybeeee:
A large portion of Taco Bell’s customer base is made up of people that emerge from their holes in the depths of the night, so naturally they’re open late as shit. It will stay open until at least 4 a.m., which let’s face it, is more than Cantina could ever do for us. That’s enough time to leave Mid, drown your sorrows in that gross squirty nacho cheese, pass out face first in your burrito, and wake up just in time to catch an Uber home.

Acceptance is hard. Cantina is gone and no amount of praying to the Midtown gods or sacrificing of freshmen will bring it back. You can sit around and mope, or you can do what Cantina would want you to do; get over it and get hammered. Spring 2018: the semester when Taco Bell came and shown through the clouds as a beacon of hope in our darkest hour.

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