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Marston’s ‘Please Excuse the Noise’ Signs Probably Just Excusing a Rager

UF students have been spotted heading to Marston Science Library to begin their semester studying. Last week, students were shocked, confused, and angry upon finding the polite sign stating, “Please excuse the noise” likely due to construction on the upper floors as well as maintenance to the elevators.

Two students who seem to be a bit over eager about the whole “studying thing” this semester, have some speculation about what it is that’s actually going on up there.

“I’m hoping it’s gonna be a DDR room,” said Jared Bennett, a freshman explorer. “Y’know Marston could definitely use a floor where students can take a 5-minute break from crying to hop around and look like idiots. Nobody goes to the library just to study, there should be other options.”

Chad Miller, a second-year, business student at UF has predicted that the new construction is because they are “throwing a massive rager” at Marston. “Yeah, so like, picture this: they get rid of all those boring ass books, put a keg up there, and probably some tables for all the other alcohol, and, maybe a full DJ booth. That would be awesome,” Chad explained.  

Reports have concluded that the library looks exactly the same as before with “some books and stuff,” and a large crane has confirmed the noise to probably be like, ya know, construction.

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