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George Mason

Mason’s Daddy of the Week: Alessandro Ottavio Gaiarin

Name: Alessandro Ottavio Gaiarin

Twitter Handle: @drunklesandro

Year: Senior???

Major: Technical Theater

Relationship Status:   ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄

Boxers or Briefs?:

Boxer briefs: has the fashion of the boxers, but the compactness of the briefs.

Tell us a dad joke:

Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison? Authorities are on the lookout for a small medium at large.

Would you rather live in a world without Jimmy Buffet’s addictive island rhythms or pass five kidney stones consecutively?:

After what I’ve heard about kidney stones, I think I can live without Jimmy Buffet.

What’s the best sport to watch for yelling at the TV until you give yourself heartburn?: Battlebots

Would you rather eat grass or smoke ass?:

I suppose eat grass. You think ass has nicotine in it?

Which two inanimate objects would you use in an awkward attempt to explain the birds and the bees to your children?:

A stuffed bird and a live bee.

What would you name your child to ruin their life?:

Lil’ Gimli Gaiarin

Why do you think you deserve to be Daddy of the Week?:

I absolutely, 100%, do not deserve this.

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:

Because newsprint as we know it is dying, along with any sense of journalistic integrity. So go ahead, read the “Daddy of the Week” column and chortle to yourself.

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