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5 Worst Things That Could Happen at Frat Beach This Year

 

After the devastating loss against Vandy, the literal thing only thing that Dawg fans have to look forward to is a beach weekend in Saint Simons. And by beach weekend, we really just mean a weekend of Athens-style drinking on a beach: no relaxation or beach reads involved. Think less Nicholas  Sparks and more 18 people in a two-bedroom condo. But, with the luck that the Dawgs have demonstrated this season, there is still a worrisome chance that things could go horribly wrong. We’ve detailed them for you here.

 

5.) The Costume Copy-Cat:
You spent at least 4 hours and $13 making the perfect Abraham Baldwin costume. And guess what? There’s another UGA Inaugural President stumbling drunkenly around the shores of Frat Beach. Your costumes are the exact same down to the double-breasted blue blazer and pearl-white culottes. Turns out your obscure UGA reference wasn’t obscure enough. Damn.

 

4.) The Out-Of-Nowhere Tropical Storm:
Hurricane Matthew has come and gone, but hurricane season is still in full swing. Or spin, rather. The only thing that could possibly suck more than Frat Beach being rained out is if the travel plane that UGA football uses for transportation was tossed around a la Dorothy’s house in that tornado in The Wizard of Oz. Talk about not ideal.

 

3.) The Creepy Hotel:
Surprise! The sketchy but cheap motel you booked for you and your friends turns out to be actually haunted. And we’re not talking about the lights flickering on and off occasionally; we’re talking about the actual Saint Simon making you wish you never puked on his beach.

 

2.) The Sharknado:
Speaking of tornados, Sharknado. Can you imagine a tornado sprouting up in the middle of the Atlantic, carrying sharks, and depositing said sharks on the beaches of St. Simon’s amidst loads of UGA students donning their best costumes? We sure can. They didn’t make four renditions of the movie because they thought it was implausible.

 

1.) The G-Day Invasion:
In this classic and completely foreseeable scenario, the students of the University of Florida invade Frat Beach as if it were Normandy. Apparently they were all sick and tired of us UGA fans partying so close to their territory. And to add insult to injury, UF calls their invasion G-Day: a clever but hurtful pun on our Spring game this past year that was the debut of our “saving grace” Jacob Eason. Curse you, Gators. Curse you.

 

Frat Beach is home to all sorts of scarring events, and with this year’s luck of the Dawgs, one of these things is bound to happen. Prepare accordingly.

 

Ever need a reason to skip class? Think again:

 

 

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