Instead of wasting your time feeling overly threatened by actual athletes at Ramsey, try our fool proof weight loss program that uses everyday campus facilities. It has the potential to turn you from beer gut to satisfyingly mediocre with a filter.
5.) Fountain Lap Pool:
There are only two times when people use Herty fountain: freshman Instagram posts and your drunken Snapchat story, so why not get some real use out of it. We propose you turn it in to your own lap pool. It may not be Olympic sized but that doesn’t mean you can’t at least pretend you’re a highly unfit version of Michael Phelps. Show campus your best freestyle or breast stroke without judgement. They’ll just assume you aren’t sober, but who cares, you’re just are trying to look hot in that unflattering graduation gown when the time eventually comes for you to put it on.
4.) Chapel Bell Rope Challenge:
This is another useless UGA tradition that can help you forgot your feast at the dining hall the other night. This one is simple, use the rope as your standard climbing rope. This may seem a little dangerous considering your fall will lead to concrete, but hey, no pain no game. If you need motivation to succeed, just imagine your diploma is at the top. You probably have a better chance of making it to the top than you do of actually graduating on time!
3.)Family Housing Bus Marathon:
This one may be the most daunting. Take the Family Housing Bus to any of its destinations and either walk or run back. We are not exactly sure where the bus will take you (Narnia? Westerosi? The SEC Championship?), but what we do know is that your butt will be comparable to Kim Kardashian’s by the time you get home. We do not recommend taking this at night and we are not responsible if the bus takes you to another country, as this is a big possibility.
2.) Million-Dollar Staircase Drill:
You’re not going to like this one but bare with us. This method involves you completing running drills while taking on the million-dollar staircase. You will have to dodge class change traffic as well as the occasional evangelical preacher throwing a bible at you, but it doesn’t matter, these factors only make it more exciting. In fact, give yourself 5 points every time you dodge a bible toss and break up any on-campus PDA. You just earned yourself a cheat meal!
1.) Sanford Stadium Hunt:
Our personal favorite technique. Here you must attempt to find your best friend in Sanford Stadium while a game is occurring. This is a real life Where’s Waldo, especially since everyone is in red clothes, but it’s also an obstacle course. You will have to dodge aggressive frat bros, the out of town families with too many kids, as well as maneuver around security guards while hopping over railings. We know it’s a challenge but if you’re not up to the task of nonsensical and extreme workouts then why are you even reading this?!
Our intensive workout routine has more passing results than most of the chemistry classes on campus. But if none of this works for you, maybe try skipping the Snelling Philly Cheesesteak line next time.
Is there actual crack in Pumpkin Spice Lattes? Or is it something else?