Have you received a UGA parking ticket, that hateful piece of paper that just screams, “we want even more money out of you than we’ve already managed to squeeze!!!!” Well, The Black Sheep has come up with some of the best excuses to appeal your ticket that are guaranteed to save you the hefty fine and maybe even get bitchy “Karen” from Parking Services to crack a smile.
6.) “I was getting a selfie with Hairy Dog”:
Anyone knows that it’s a deadly sin not to take a pic with Hairy Dog if the opportunity arises. Therefore, you can easily use this excuse to get out of a simple parking ticket, we’ve even seen it used on missed tests, too.
5.) “I was headed to Bolton with my BFF President Morehead”:
Everyone knows if you’re in the Morehead-head fan club, you’re set for life. You’re part an infamous squad and therefor exempt from plebeian things like parking tickets. You probably don’t even have to worry about parking tickets ‘cause you have a complimentary free pass from good ol’ Jere himself.
4.) “My normal parking spot was taken by squirrels”:
The squirrels on our campus give less F’s than any other living thing here, even less than the badasses you only see on test days. They came to take names, lives, and whatever they can manage to steal from you when you are least expecting it.
3.) “I thought I saw a guide dog”:
No sane person would fail to drop everything they are doing when they see a guide dog puppy, so that they can pet and ogle over it obsessively. A complete disregard for campus parking lots is a forgivable offense when you are in pursuit of a guide doggo.
2.) “There was another preacher in Tate Plaza and I was hoping to make it on Worldstar”:
The epic brawl between the preacher in Tate and the seemingly innocent UGA student is one of the highlights of this school year’s many events, and who wants to miss out on the opportunity to see another smack down in the middle of Tate that even John Cena would envy? If another one occurred it would out shadow anything else on campus, except maybe G-day because everyone is waiting for football to happen so we can get our lives back on track.
1.) “I had to get my chicken minis at CFA in Tate or I would literally die”:
It’s no secret that the main lifeline of any UGA student is Chick-fil-A. If you want to eliminate most of UGA’s population, destroy all Chick-fil-As within a five-mile radius and they will drop like flies, which is why this makes a valid excuse which anyone in Parking Services would understand. In fact, they would probably commend you.
Any of these excuses should be sufficient to get you out of a UGA parking ticket. At the very least whoever is deciding your appeal will get a good kick out of it. We hope you enjoyed our excuses and also wish your bank account the best of luck on your appeal.
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