And just like that, we’re headed back to the National Championship hosted by ATL’s newest investment: Mercedes Benz Stadium. But we Dawg fans at The Black Sheep think it’s a little unfair for us to have the Natty at the Benz, considering we already tore it to shreds when we simultaneously tore Auburn to shreds. So, we’ve brainstormed some alternate places to host the National Championship.
7.) Bryant-Denny Stadium:
Because how sweet would it be for Kirby to beat Saban in his home turf? The student would become the master, if you know what we mean. Plus, we would love to give Bama the home field advantage to then promptly smash them into it.
6.) The Georgia Dome:
Instead of playing in the brand-new, swanky dome in Atlanta, we think the Dawgs and Alabama should play amidst the rubble and dust of the recently dynamited and right-next-door Georgia Dome. We think Alabama would be more comfortable playing there because they’re trash.
5.) The Instructional Plaza:
Because ticket prices aren’t expensive enough, we think it would be a good and economical idea to cut the number of seats available by ¾ and make the tickets worth $1 billion apiece. Then, UGA Athletics would have the budget to install sliding roofs into both the North and South Auditoriums, creating play across both Instructional Plaza wings. Hail Marys would be completely blind and running plays would go up the stairs and out the door. How dope!
4.) Clarke Central High School:
It’s not technically the Dawgs’ home turf, so there would be no unfair advantage, but it is the Fraternity home turf. Which would be a huge advantage for the pregame game. Although this might actually be the only game where the real game is more important than the pregame for every single Dawg fan ever.
3.) The Rose Bowl:
First of all, there’s nothing better than the Granddaddy of Them All, and we’re sure that they can throw together another Rose Bowl parade for us last minute. Second of all, nothing shows more Dawg Fan dedication than pulling into your garage in Athens for Drop/Add Week and then pulling directly back out and making the second consecutive road trip to ‘Dena. Moped, anyone?
2.) Natural Light HQ in St. Louis, Missouri:
This location is clutch for so many reasons. Firstly, endless Natty Light. Every Dawg Fan’s dream. Secondly, think about all the hashtags this location would spawn! Infinite possibilities for a good photo caption. Think “Natty at the Natty,” “Natty Squared,” or “Natty, Natty” in a scathing response to Bud Light’s “Dilly, Dilly.” The world is your Natty.
1.) On Ice:
To further increase the ticket sales of the game and to prove that this season for the Dawgs is already legendary, we think the Athletic Department should make this game “On Ice.” The Dawgs would join the legends of Disney Classics, such as Frozen, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, The Brave Little Toaster, and Star Wars: The Last Jedi, all of which have “On-Ice” promotions. It would even be a peace offering for all parties involved with the hullabaloo surrounding the upcoming 2018 Winter Olympics. Maybe they’ll even let us light the torch. Wouldn’t that be nice.
We think all of these places would be better than our brand-new in-state stadium. There. We said it. Been there, done that. What else you got, NCAA?