Finals are coming faster than a man after no nut November and that signifies the Black Friday event of the semester: registration. UGA class registration is an all-out war if you’re just the average alcoholic student and not an honors or athlete with early sign-up dates. To get off that waitlist and into the 11am of your dreams, here are a few tips.
8.) Create fake RateMyProfessor and Koofers reviews:
Scamming drinks from boys dt is entry level scamming. Planting fake reviews to deter potential class competition is next level and you know what? It’s time to level up, kids.
7.) Offer your firstborn on the UGA buy/sell Facebook group:
Only good can come from a Facebook post asking for people, who also need that same class to graduate, to give up their seat. The only reasonable offer WOULD be your signed Nick Chubb jersey but we understand that that is far too valuable so the next best thing is you can give them is obviously your newborn.
6.) Befriend a UGA athlete and get them to hold your seat:
Football players don’t even need classes anyways. Just hit up Pauley’s one night and snag yourself a new friends with benefits (the benefits being that early class registration).
5.) Become a golf athlete:
If your social anxiety prevents you from befriending random people, don’t sweat it! Just become the athlete yourself! Now you’ve watched the Masters, you have all the knowledge you need to get out there and score a home run! Highest score wins, correct.
4.) Sleep with the TA:
Look, you gotta’ do what you gotta’ do to get into that class. If that means sleeping with a crusty graduate student, so be it.
3.) Email your professor and tell them you can get them CFA on Sundays:
Show them that you can make the impossible, possible.
2.) Blare the yodeling kid club remix at Tate Plaza:
When times get hard, just turn to psychological warfare. Nobody is getting that screech out of their head until you get into that class.
1.) Drop out:
You can’t be put on the waitlist, if you’re not a student.
May the odds be ever in your favor this registration session. Godspeed.