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9 Types Of People You’ll Meet On the Prince-Milledge Night Route

Every weekend, the Arch becomes a place where hundreds of students too poor to pay for an Uber are rescued from a laborious trek by loading into that savior of drunk students: the Night Campus bus. Like the Knight Bus from Harry Potter, it rescues any UGA student who’s willing to wait at the Arch for 20 minutes. 

9.) The Journalist:
Whether in Grady or not, UGA has several talented reporters in attendance. This person will feel the need to loudly narrate all of the events of their evening to the entirety of the bus, with all of the narrative detail that comes with a Pulitzer prize-winning report.

8.) The Young Lovers:
Even though they’ve only known each other for the span of 30 minutes, anyone can see that these two are clearly smitten with each other. As they get ready to shack up with at his dorm in Creswell, they buck all social convention in the name of love’s eternal glory.

7.) The Snoozer:
Is that a hobo in the back of the bus? Nope, it’s the Snoozer; the guy who had one too many and proceeded to fall asleep on the back row of seats. Don’t wake him up. Better to just let him dream on until he gets up at the bus depot the next morning.

6.) The Pole Dancer:
For the Pole Dancer, riding on a bus is like a trip to Six Flags. They grab onto the support poles and proceed to swing around the pole with every brake, turn, and bump of the bus. Hey, we’re not judging. Topper’s always needs more employees right?

5.) The Invalid:
After proceeding to vomit over the floor and most of the people in the front of the bus, this person proceeds to lose consciousness and collapse in a pool of their own sick. Disgusting? Yes. Surprising? No.

4.) The Cloud:
Is that a fire?! Close, but no cigar. Under that thick miasma of mango-scented smoke lies another person. We can’t tell their gender, what they look like, or any defining physical characteristic for that matter, except for the fact that they’re always asking if you wanna hit.

3.) The next American Idol:
Seacrest ain’t coming to Athens, but Athens may just come to Seacrest. There’s nothing like 3 Everclear slushies to bring out someone’s inner talent, and let’s face it: everyone’s too drunk to care whether or not they sound good. If Carrie Underwood can do it, how hard can it be?

2.) The Weird Old Guy:
No one knows how the weird old guy gets on the night bus, but every night, right as the bus switches to the night shift, he mysteriously appears. Then, when the sun rises, as mysteriously as he entered into the bus, he vanishes. Spooky.

1.) The Apathetic Driver:
This poor creature’s soul has been deadened by hour after hour of watching students vomit, dance, and scream all over her bus. She watches the road with eagle eyes, but no life lies behind them.

Though the Night Bus is full of crazy, drunk students, we appreciate the work that it does for all of us. Nothing else can do what it does. Except Uber. And Lyft. And your sober roommate.

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