Bulldogs vs Bulldawgs: a timeless theme of controversy. Why did they copy us? Does Yale even have sports teams that need a mascot? Why is Mississippi trying to be a Walmart version of UGA with their tacky maroon?
We don’t even have to ask if our football team would beat theirs because we already know the answer to that, but the question of why Yale and Mississippi are trying to steal our mascot thunder is endless. Sending our best sleuths into the field, we got to the bottom of why we rightfully deserve to be the alpha Bulldawg.
First visiting the land of the mindless cowbells, The Black Sheep staff asked some of the MS students what they thought of their mascot, Bully. “I thought our mascot was UGA?” one student replied with a confused reaction. “Did we not go to the Natty where the referees blew our lead?”
After further probing, the conspiracy that MS State is actually trying to become a knock-off UGA became solidified when we discovered that their football coach’s name was Joe Moorhead. Coincidently close to UGA’s President Jere Morehead, no? We think not, but look we get it. Everyone wants to be as great as us, but c’mon Mississippi State. You look pathetic, honey. Have some respect for yourself.
Moving on from the sad state of Mississippi we arrived at Connecticut, the state we always seem to forget exists. With a mascot named “Handsome Dan,” we don’t think it gets more pretentious than this school.
Nonetheless, we were on a mission to find out if this school even had sports teams that were worth stealing our mascot for. Stopping by the athletic center, our interviewers asked for some statements from what seemed to be a basketball player.
In order to talk to this student, we had to show a bank statement, three forms of legal ID and after a 20 minute phone call to his father to confirm whether he could speak to someone of our social class or not, we were allowed a short interview because he had tea at 12 and a pedicure appointment at 1.
By that point, we just skipped the interview because we had all the information we needed to decide if they were worthy of our sacred bulldog.
If you weren’t able to decide for yourself whether those two “bulldogs” were worthy of the mascot, you belong at Mississippi State. Regardless, our bulldawg legacy will always shine brighter than the rest of the fakes. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. As always, go DAWGS.
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