You’re tired of coming up with dirty little things to help get it on (cue Marvin Gaye) during sex. So why not make it easy on yourself? Just take these sick phrases from the student section right to that Brumby dorm room.
10.) “Saturdays are for the boys”:
What really happens behind closed doors? The renowned acronym “SAFTB” is perfect for all your male orgy needs. Say it loud, say it proud, boys!
9.) “It’s better between the Hedges”:
After not shaving for a while, you need to pitch yourself as a sexual partner somehow! On any given Saturday in Athens, people are dying to get between those hedges, so why not continue the party between your hedges? Maybe you can even charge admission!
8.) “Go home! You suck!”:
We’ve all been there. You’re not satisfied, and you’re just looking for more. Cut the bullshit and quit wasting your precious time – tell ‘em to get on out your house so that you can get to swiping right on some new and fresh piece o’ ass.
7.) “Sic ‘em!”:
Some like it rough, and let’s just say you’re in that “some” demographic. So, give your partner the signal to release his inner Christian Grey/Kirby Smart hybrid of a lover.
6.) “Illegal use of the hands”:
Just stick to the basics and leave the hands out of this. Pull a Ricky Bobby and just admit it: you don’t know what to do with your hands.
5.) “False start!”
All is fair in love and war. Which one is football, and which one is sex? We’re unsure. One thing we do know is once a cheater, always a cheater, and it’s an applicable rule of thumb in both areas. (We’re looking at you.)
4.) “Who’s that coming down the track?”:
Well, are you? If so, then please follow the prompt immediately below.
To which you reply…
3.) “It’s the mean machine in red and black”:
Show your school spirit and enthusiasm with this kinky phrase. If nothing else, you’re sure to get a laugh or two.
Football, much like sex, is all about a good balance, a true yin-yang type situation. It’s just not fun when one team fucks the other. So, do your dirtiest with some DE-FENSE.
When in doubt, Dawgie-style it out, my friend.
Worst comes to worst, just tell your SO that they blew you harder than Atlanta blew that Super Bowl lead and instantly increase their confidence in their sexuality.
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