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What Your Downtown Athens Outfit Says About You

The couture of downtown Athens can be very confusing especially when your judgment is beyond impaired and you’re looking at someone through that hazy bar light. Don’t worry, we have compiled a list of to determine what kind of sexual aura you’re giving on based off your downtown attire.

 

7.) Some Weird Themed Outfit:

This is the frat guy coming from a social event, where he already pre-gamed the hell out of his kidneys and wants to continue his blackout buzz downtown. This guy is looking to hook up with anything wearing Greek letters and blond hair. If you want to find this guy, he’ll probably be passed out in the back seat of the night bus until the sun comes up.

 

6.) White Converse:

This is the chick who thinks she isn’t a light weight but will be in the bathroom of some dorm in a few hours regretting all of her life decisions. She is using an obvious fake, but thinks that the bouncer will let her in ’cause she’s showing so much cleavage that a shirt is useless. She’s also the girl to go off every time  Closer starts playing in a bar.

 

5.) Some Obscure Jersey:

This guy is sending mixed signals. He’s never left the South in his life, but he owns 3 Phoenix Suns jerseys. When you ask him why he is wearing the jersey, he’ll just tell you he likes the team. If you can get past his lack of a personality, you can work this guy into buying you a 6-dollar drink. He may expect something in return, but just insult that bizarre basketball team and he’ll avoid you from then on.

 

4.) Adidas Superstars:

This is the girl who thinks she’s a hipster and style icon because she has 1,000 Instagram followers but bought 900 of them. She’ll be wearing 3 chokers and some band t-shirt, but she won’t be able to tell you a single song by that band. When you talk to her you will soon realize that she has a boyfriend who is enrolled somewhere out of state, but that won’t stop her from making out with the bartender.

 

3.) The PFG, Boots, and Jeans Combo:

He looks like he is ready to fish at all hours of the day, and he is. This man is sipping a beer in the corner and seeming very calm, that is until any song by Future or Drake comes on. All of a sudden he will start grinding on anything with breasts. He is impossible to get rid of and will somehow be at every bar you go to that night.

 

2.) American Threads Girl:

You can spot American Threads Girl by the fact the only thing she has on is in fact from American Threads. She will most likely come in a group of about 4 other girls and already have beer stains on her dress. She’s the most fun to watch because she will try to drunkenly Hit the Quan and somehow bust her ass within 5 minutes of entering the bar.

 

1.) Wallabees:

This is your standard bar douche. He most likely doesn’t go to UGA but will pretend he does to make his Snapchat story entertaining. You will debate hooking up with this guy and he’ll take you back to his expensive-ass downtown loft, which is odd ’cause he doesn’t have a job. But after you hook up, he’ll tell you he goes to UNG which means that you have to get tested ASAP. 

 

We hope this guide is helpful for all of your future encounters downtown, and gently remind you that it’s all in good fun! 

 

 

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