Freshman biology major Regina McCullers didn’t leave a class she wasn’t supposed to be in on Wednesday morning for fear of looking like the biggest idiot in the world, sources in the class told The Black Sheep.
Prior to the mishap, McCullers wandered around looking for her class in LeConte Hall for 15 minutes before sitting down in room 35.
“There was nothing I could do but pretend that I was supposed to be there,” McCullers said. “I wasn’t about to look like a dumbass and leave, so I just played it cool and flew under the radar.”
Professor Harold Dean soon discovered that McCullers wasn’t on the class role, and asked her if she had recently added the class. According to multiple witnesses, McCullers began to spout random nonsense about herself in a misguided attempt to solidify an alibi for being there.
“She just kept saying crazy shit,” said a student in the class. “She told us that she was a former child soldier from Nigeria and that John D. Rockefeller was her estranged father. It was pretty hard to watch.”
After continuing on with her monologue for half of the class period, McCullers abruptly got up and ran out of the classroom. McCullers later pegged the misunderstanding down to fake news. “They’re trying to weed people out of the program by sending them to the wrong classroom. My friend told me all about it.”
When we tried to get a comment from McCullers, sources close to her said that she had transferred to Georgia Southern.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: