There are many things about UGA that are equivalent to be chased by deranged serial killer, if you’re a girl that’s just surviving a night out. Even So, we felt that we should take advantage of the horror atmosphere and have come up with a list of some horror movies that should be made about UGA:
7.) The Blair Granola Project:
This film takes place as a regular camping getaway in the Smoky Mountains featuring the most annoying hipster granolas that are in your lecture hall. Nothing could prepare the granola hipsters for what is about to happen next, running out of granola. They can’t survive in the wilderness; they aren’t bears. There isn’t an organic grocery around for miles so it looks like they’re stuck with ordering Papa Johns to the campgrounds.
6.) Milledge Row:
In this Saw inspired flick, an estranged serial killer stalks the sorority greek letter clad frockets. It would be 2 hours utter pandemonium. Watch as secrets are revealed and friendships are tested when these girls are left with a single hair straighter in the house. Spoiler alert: only one girl will walk out of that house alive.
5.) The Moaning in the Creswell Showers:
What starts as a simple mediocre shower with the possible threat of a rare fungus takes a devastating turn. As you begin shampooing your hair, you hear a moaning from two stalls down and a consistent thumping sound. What could be going on in your safe sanctuary? What could be causing her to be moaning? You may never know and you won’t be able to condition your hair without fearing the deranged ghost of communal showers past is upon you! Or it could just be some jacking off rather obnoxiously.
4.) Date Night: Will He Text Me Back? A 3 Part Saga:
The night was amazing. Your date was hot. Your hickey can be covered up before parent’s weekend. Now the only thing to top it all off is to get a text back from your perfect date because that’s what a date is supposed to do. Obviously, you are going to go to semi with him. But it’s 10 p.m. now and you have no response. He must have died.
3.) The Undead Zombie Blob from Bolton:
Have you ever wondered what happens to the pasta that falls out of the pan? Well according to the rumor sent in the Stat 2000 GroupMe, an evil witch who used to teach freshman English, puts them in a cauldron and casts a spell on them. The spell turns it into an undead Zombie blob. This blob blends in with the crowd pretending to be one us.
2.) Night of the Living Drunk Bros:
In this found footage film, a group of girls takes on the dangerous task of going to downtown Athens on a Thursday night. They look good, they pre-gamed hard, but they couldn’t prepare for what was to come next, the drunk bros. They are aggressive, most don’t even go to UGA, and they won’t stop until they get to home with them. You can go to another bar, hide in bathroom even, but they will find you!
1.) Guide Dog Cemetery:
Based on the best-selling novel by Stephen King, Pet Sematary, a grieving President Morehead buries a beloved Uga baby in the guide dog cemetery. It is the cemetery where all guide dogs were laid to rest after crossing the rainbow bridge because their owners abandoned them after snapping their cute pic for Instagram. The urban legend, as told by the guy who sells jewelry downtown, is that it can bring lost dogs back from the grave. Turns out it is just a regular cemetery though.
We believe these movies would be Oscar worthy masterpieces considering they cover some groundbreaking content about the spooky ways of life at UGA. If anything, they can at least go straight to Netflix.