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How To Assert Your Dominance In The First Week Of Classes At UGA


Well it is the beginning of a brand new semester which only means one thing, another chance to make the dean’s list. No, it means you have a whole new roster of classes where you must remind everyone who is in charge because it’s not the professor. So here are some ways you can remind everyone not to mess with you.


Step 1: Start teaching the class:
Nothing says I know my stuff like getting up in front of all the other students and teaching the class yourself. The rest of the students won’t say anything because they will be way too intimidated to say anything, and you can always threaten to fail them which will shut them up quickly. This does require you to know a little about your class, so if you don’t know the difference between a wing and beak then you shouldn’t try to pull this in avian biology.


Step 2: Bring an actual bulldog to class:
It’s quite difficult to be on the UGA campus and not see some form of a bulldog everywhere you go. However, there are few instances where you see an actual bulldog (unless of course you go to the football games). So if you bring an actual bulldog to class it shows everyone in the class that you’re not a normal student and that people should take you very, very seriously.


Step 3: Wear a UGA football uniform (with helmet):
Almost every UGA student has some sense of school pride, well maybe 50% of the school does, but wearing an actual UGA football uniform shows that you’re just simply prouder than everyone else. It’s a statement that says, “yes I go to every football game, and yes I only own underwear in red and black, and yes I don’t plan on ever leaving this place.” You must wear the helmet with the uniform because otherwise you would look foolish and that does not assert your dominance.


Step 4: Carry your own personal desk to class:
There are many students on campus that think they already work for a Fortune 500 company even though their biggest success story is not wasting their entire paycheck on Terrapin the week before. It’s a common sight to see students in suits and ties carrying briefcases, so if you want to put some people in their place you’re going to have to go all out. We suggest bringing your own desk. It guarantees that you will actually have a desk which can be a luxury in some classes and it shows that you mean business.


Step 5: Take all your notes on a typewriter:
Anyone can take notes by hand or with a computer, but it takes some balls to take notes on a typewriter. You are the type of person who doesn’t worry about making mistakes, so you don’t need to use backspace. It will also confuse the hell out of your professor because they’ll spend half the class determining if it somehow violates their “no technology” policy.


Hopefully this list will help you in your quest to remind your fellow classmates who is boss and not to screw with you. At the very least you will be the most entertaining student in class.




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