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UGA Student So Impressed By Kirby Smart He Forges A New Birth Certificate With His Name On It

 

Over the past months that he’s been coach, according to an article in Atlanta Magazine, Kirby Smart’s been working on more than just UGA’s football team. He’s also been working pretty hard at upping the curb appeal of Athens’s Five Points historic homes.

“The Smart family has been working hard with interior designers and builders to refurbish the quaint historic home into a fabulous home,” said their new neighbor, Alice Cornfeld. “They’re even including, I kid you not, a separate space to house and entertain recruits and current members of the football team.”

In the few weeks since this information was released, coupled with the still undefeated season for the Dawgs this year, the population of UGA, and honestly the greater population of Athens, has been feeling very strong familial and emotional connection to Kirby and his family. But this week, there’s been news of a student who has taken this too far.

One sophomore, came out with a statement that claimed he forged a birth certificate that places him in the Smart family. In other words, just to maybe reap the benefits of the Smart House and a winning football team salary, this kid committed forgery in the first degree, a federal crime, punishable by a 10 year sentence in prison. Go dawgs.

“Word on the street is that the kid’s attempt at forging a federal document was so poorly executed that the officers assumed that this forgery was attempted under the influence of illicit substances,” commented junior, Kyle Smiley. “So instead of trying him for the ten year sentence in the all-too-complicated and time consuming federal court system, they gave him an MIP and sent him on his way.”

While this is good news for our reckless sophomore, this was a troubling and confusing time for the Smart family. Not only was this false claim of sonship an issue for the marriage between Kirby and his wife Mary Beth, it also built up the hopes of having another brother that the three Smart kids had always wanted, only to tear them down again.

“I always wanted an older brother,” states Andrew Smart, the oldest of the Smart children. “Even if that brother is a criminal.” But once Andrew concluded with our interview, he seemed pretty okay, considering he’s five years old.

We wish nothing but the best for the Smart family and their new home, but they might need to be careful with giving the press information about their family because people might just try and join it.

 

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